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Friday, August 22, 2008

"routines" (except not really)

i need to get this off my chest! its been keeping me awake.
as you all know, i have been a mom for almost 20 years, beginning in my late teens(19). i am no newbie! i am not wet behind the ears. i moved out at 17 and have maintained my own(shared) home since that time. i wasnt born last night.
i read a few blogs now, maybe 10 or so. the other day i read a blog written by a mom of 4 children under the age of 3.5. she wrote at length about her Daily Routine. until i read hers, i thought i had a routine. i was mistaken. painfully so, it seems.
my kids have bedtimes and bedtime routines. naptimes are pretty strictly adhered to for Shawn. my method of discipline is routine and they know what to expect. mealtimes & bath/tooth brushing times are pretty routine too, most of the time.
BUT.. as far as the rest.....when the toilet looks dirty, i scrub it. when the sink is full of dishes, i load the dishwasher. when i am out of pants or my husband walks by shaking his head, crying and shaking uncontrollably, i do the laundry. i have that firm grasp of the obvious. i wash floors and vacuum carpets when they look bad. i like my house clean and i keep up ok, im no pack rat(no storage here!) and i get rid of anything we arent using regularly. even my OCD friend thinks our home is "acceptable but lived in" LOL. no routine here i guess, for cleaning and maintenance.
this other blogger is UNREAL scheduled, more than my sister-in-law(who cracks me up and i tease the hell outta her). she even schedules very structured play time, bath time, bible study and one-on-one time with each of the 3 older children. she vacuums under her beds on certain days, grocery shops and runs errand on certain days between the hours of frik & frak..... i am just blown away. is it me? have i been doing it all wrong for 20 years???????
now, in her defense... defense is the wrong word, she certainly doesnt need defending, shes an amazing Mother, just explaining maybe. she doesnt own a TV, she has 3 babies and one on the way with a health concern, her husband works constantly so shes on her own, out in the boonies, alot. my kids have a way bigger age spread, i am parenting kids in so many different stages of life i am half crazy, 2 of mine are almost "grown"..... so our lives are different but WOW. my missionary friend in Haiti has 7 kids and a live in niece(3 under age 2!)and i dont think shes scheduled at all LOL shes more like me. she openly admits to handing out cereal for dinner regularly, i love her(her blog address is in my sidebar, check it out youll laugh your butt off. the Livesays) so my question is... how do you all do it? are our kids suffering from extremes either way? are john & kate plus 8 doing it the right way?(like she has a choice! NOT)
i just hope my kids dont all turn into axe murderers because i didnt schedule in the math flashcards!!!!!


Christine said...

Sounds like that chic is a FlyLady ( disciple. I never got past the FlyLarvae stage, myself!

I have meals about the same time, but even that changes occasionally. The kids have chores, which get certain surfaces at least sorta' wiped off on week days, and trash cans emptied, etc. I implement structure in the areas where it will help my RADalicious ones (bedtimes, how meals are handled, etc.). Yet, cleaning the living room usually comes the week before my period when I walk in and shriek, "I can't take it anymore - everyone - here - NOW!" I don't think that's a part of FlyLady's program, but it's been awhile since I've read her stuff. :)

Jessie said...

LOL I love you Ali! I would say that the more time goes by, the more I am like you. Honnestly, it is freeing to let go. Schedule/routine for naps, and bedtimes yes...lunch yes, supper, when we need to...laundry..well I don't have enough clothes, so frequently...You're alright my friend! You're more than alright, you're TERRIFIC!

Brenda said...

STOP comparing yourself to other mom's. There is always someone who we think does it better. They just do it different.