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Thursday, August 21, 2008

I'M BACK! / Alcatraz??????/RAD crap

"C" & ken
before we took the hammer away

simeon & kendyl
i love them together. he better marry her lol

doing hair
at the park in the "car"

well, in the end i only went one full day without a computer. not too bad. It's all fixed and working nicely. i brought kris back to college yadda yadda yadda. but those stories are boring so let's move on huh? i have way juicier crap to report!

ok.. so....we have these rabbits. it all started with

"can i have a bunny?"

"can i have a bunny?"

"can i have a bunny?"

yogi is a SUCKER.

so my parents gave us this really nice outdoor hutch that had been made for them years ago and we adopted a female rabbit from craigs list. then, 3 months later, my daughter who wanted a bunny went off to college and left the entire responsibility to ME. DUH! now who's the sucker??? then my niece called and told me her friend was moving and needed a new home for her bunny. she claimed it was a female. 4 weeks later we had 5 more bunnies LOLOLOLOL. we found homes for all the bunnies except 1, and got another cage for the father. the father bunny(in honor of Fawn, i will call him MackDaddy LOL) dropped dead on june 10th, so we are down to 2 females now.

these rabbits played us for FOOLS!!!!! they mock us! i woke up monday morning and they were running around the yard! they had spent months chewing a huge hole in the back of the cage and ESCAPED! every time we walked by they stood over it like nothing was going on. those little........they've been planning this for months! luckily we have 2 cages, so jackson was asked to catch them and put them in Mack Daddy's cage. i woke up College Sophomore and told her that her furry little darlings were running amock, eating the neighbors vegetables, and needed to be caught THIS MINUTE! (you DO NOT anger Anal Retentive Phil on the corner!)i was in my pajamas, bra-less and was feeding shawn some breakfast. College Sophomore saw no urgency in the situation, and took a leisurely shower, ate a leisurely breakfast and spent a leisurely 20 minutes getting dressed. i was ready to explode at that point. i told her i needed for her to participate. no worries, she said(GGRR)

jackson is so stinkin' fast and so coordinated, he is our best rabbit catcher and takes pride in that fact(ok.. ok.. i pay the kid! don't judge me!) and he quickly caught mooney and came in the house asking for 10$ LOL. Max, the mother rabbit, is not as stupid.. er...i mean trusting as her 1 year old daughter. she would prove to be a 40$ catch LOLOLOLOL. at this point, my Mother's Helper, "C".. (ok... that name is dumb, what else can we call her??? somebody come up with something better ok??? get back to me) anyway, she showed up and we all looked for max on & off throughout the day, unsuccessfully. but heres the RAD part:

when jackson caught Mooney, HE PUT HER IN THE SAME CAGE SHE ESCAPED FROM! do you see where i am going with this??? i asked him, "where did you put Mooney?"(i know him soooo well)

"in the cage"

"which cage?"

"her cage"

"you mean the one she CHEWED A HUGE HOLE IN?"

"um... yah."

"super cool. WHY??"

"why not?"


"go get her and put her in the cage she wont get out of, please!"


insert complete mental breakdown here. he has NO LOGIC. NO REASONING SKILLS. and NO MEMORY whatsoever.

i calmly explained why. he then had the NERVE to say,

"you told me not to put her in the other cage."

OH REALLY?????????????????? you make this drivel up off the top of your head! why cant you just say "I FORGOT!" ???

"cuz you always say "and i dont want to hear 'i forgot' "

ahhh shit. you win. just go get her LOL

do your radishes constantly fabricate supposed conversations with you that NEVER took place? he is THE MASTER of that and it drives me bonkers!

ok, so i told that big long story just to ask you that question, so sue me, i aint got nothin'!

oh, late in the day, max got thirsty and tired and came home. "C" was sitting on the ground & taking pictures while jack & yogi built a tent, max hopped right over to her and "C" scooped her up put her in the cage. PHEW. good thing Mack Daddy croaked when he did. God bless his little soul(he was the friendly one too, he was the MAN)

ok.. so jackson lives outside in a tent with his dog and i dont wanna talk about it. so there. its not my fault. he loves it so im staying out of it. hes being good and wants to earn sleeping in there every night. who am i to intervene????? i'm INNOCENT, i tell ya! not one of you believes me and i can handle that.

my mom & i leave for GA on tuesday. she showed up here today with a HUGE swimsuit she bought for me at Macy's so we can swim at the hotel. thanks ma. groan. the damn thing will fit too, i know it. no, i havent tried it on lol

any of you near fort benning GA?

dog is still sick. i give up and i am planning his funeral. dont judge me, i said!

i want lap band surgery. laugh all you want, Fawn! LOL

jackson will miss the first day of school because he has his quarterly visit with his HIV guy in boston, and he might as well go while Yogi is taking time off while i am in GA. then he goes back a week later cuz hes in this Guardisil(one less! one less!) study and needs his blood taken . this study has been the biggest pain in the arse and we are NEVER participating in one again. its been a year of this. a 2 hour ride in commuter traffic for a 5 minute blood test????? NEVER AGAIN!

i think i may have something to report next week that will knock your panties off. but not yet.

sleep well my devoted readers! (all 8 of you LOL)


Shea said...

Thank goodness I am not the only one with the tent thing. My daughter spent at least a month sleeping in a tent. She is scared of the window in her bedroom cuz bad guys on tv come through windows. So down to the basement where there are no windows and into the tent where all is safe. Long story short but a bucket of paint spilled on the tent and so it's gone now, but she LOVED it while it lasted! We were going through our home study inspection at the time, and I begged her not to tell the social worker she slept in a tent in the basement lol.

Fawn said...

I am totally peeing my pants. And if MY Mack Daddy drops dead soon, you're in BIG TROUBLE SISTER!

Girl, if you can do it--get the lap band--I want a face lift--have really aged in the last year.

Can't wait to get my panties knocked off.

Christine said...

"But I thought you said ..."

Yeah. My RADalicious kids do that one all. the. time.

Yesterday I heard wailing from the dining room. Dd was crying over her math worksheet. "I don't know how to do this!!!"

"What? Those two problems right there? The ones you skipped and I pointed them out to you?"

"Yes ... *sob* *sob*"

"Those two ... subtraction problems?"

"Yes ... I don't know how to do subtraccccttttiiiiiooooonnnn .... whahhhhhhhhhh!"

"Hmmm ... just a second ..." as I begin to count - out loud - the subtraction problems on the front and back that she has already completed without one. single. mistake.

The blubbering has stopped, as I methodically count each and every one. I sit in silence. The whole house. Silence. What is mom going to do? Is she going to yell? Implode??

I just walked away.

She did them. Perfectly.

I went to the kitchen and rolled my eyes so hard that I made the earth move a little bit.

Unspeakable Joy said...

"but i thought you said" indeed!! or "no you said" ugh! or "well that one time when every detail was completely different and would never apply to this situation you told me to do this..." always something!

Fawn said...

Go to my blog--there is a little somin' somin' for you.