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Monday, September 29, 2008

questions/ teasing autistic kids

thismorning was a questionish kind of morning for my RADdy son. when RAD kids, especially hyper active RAD kids get bored or just want to control a conversation or interaction they ask questions. lots of them. today was no different. the final Q was:
whats for dinner tonight?
(i tell him what i plan to make, how it will be cooked, a dinner he really likes)
why are we having that?
why not such & such? i want such & such.
(that meat is frozen)
why cant we just cook it frozen?
(then i give a technical, honest answer why frozen food cant safely be thrown in the oven to make RAD boy happy, and he attempts to make me feel stupid with nonsense comments like "huh? what? youre crazy. that makes no sense. thats not how you do such & such... blah blah blah......" he also makes those eye rolling "youre SUCH an un-cool moron!" faces and uses this lovely Nepoleon Dynamite tone.
i told him dinner would be served at the usual time and would be yummy & plentiful, with leftovers(he checks the fridge for leftovers 7 times a day). i tried to end the conversation. he wasnt done. he wasnt havin' it. no way. he continued to try to control the conversation by being contrary. i repeated myself once, then refused to participate. then his concerta took effect and he closed his mouth for a while. OY. but he was still irritated that i wouldnt play his game. when i raise my voice in frustration he likes to smile and innocently ask "why are you yelling?" so i DO NOT take the bait.

the autistic kid down the street is angry again. well.. his mom is. im at a loss as to how to handle it. she came to our door while i was getting my hair done on thursday night. she says jack was teasing her son. jack claims that he & cahi(pronounced Ky) asked the kid if he wanted to play football 3 times, and the kid kept saying "no! i wouldnt play anything with you guys!you guys are savages!" so they ignored him and played. he also claimed he was a super hero, if that matters. then he went home and told mom they left him out, used him as a monkey -in- the- middle kinda thing and called him names. cahi's driveway is the bus stop. cahi is hyper and annoying. his mom watches like a hawk and claims the boy's story is true and the other kid is full of it. the town wants the angry kid to ride the short bus. mom refuses to allow it. (but yet she wants the services she wants and claims that she wont allow him to be coded as autistic.) she says she is "teaching him to advocate for himself" by telling him to make a list of the kids who are "mean" to him and give it her her each night(then who's advocating????) and told my husband a bunch of "my son has special needs" jargon. yogi told her he knew all about special ed., jackson has special needs too. he told her he would talk to jackson. 2 years ago she was at my door because jack was calling her son names on the bus. i flipped out on him when he exited the bus that afternoon. i embarassed my son in front of the other kids. i later found out jack was calling him ROBERT. his name is robert but they call him robby i guess. ROBERT. was he calling him that(along with his friend) because he knew the kid hates it and would flip out? YES. but.... ROBERT????? youre at my door for the word ROBERT????? so... no issues for 2 years, but now they are together again in the same school. i think its funny that ROBERT can call jack the N word repeatedly and thats supposed to be ok. hmmm. think he learned that word from his teachers? his Disney movie obsession? from the doll he carries around when he rides his bike? his dentist? HIS PARENTS??????????????? just curious.

Sunday, September 28, 2008

Saturday, September 27, 2008

hi guys!

i am still alive, just been busy and this kidney infection is kicking my arse. my doc needs to prescribe more/different meds for me. i haven't slept much.

jacks Gotcha day was the 25th. all he wanted was KFC(YUCK) and "striped shirts". i took him out for the shirts tonight. he had fun. he got jeans too, so he cleaned up.

i went to an actual salon and had all my hair chopped off thursday night. i cant decide if i like it or not, but it had to be done. i had so much damage still from the perm/color i allowed my friend to give me on the same day 16 mos. ago. still recovering. its cute, i guess, but i cant really put it up, and on the treadmill, thats annoying. (fawn, stop laughing!)

doug & ben are bringing my treadmill from my bedroom upstairs, down into kristins room tomorrow so i can actually use it. trying to make time for myself. yah, right.

kendyl has the classroom pet, gloria the stuffed gorilla, for the weekend. she has taken her role as caretaker very seriously and is becoming attached. "i dont want to bring gloria back to school mummy!" we took gloria with us to the mall tonight and took her picture on the merry-go-round. tomorrow its going to rain again, so we arent going to the fair this year. no idea what we'll do tomorrow, but the kids will be dying to get out of the house. we need to come up with something.

i have a few pics, but no time right now to upload, will try in the morning.

kris has a bad cold. bummer.

shawn hugs and kisses everyone now and finally says ma ma ma ma ma ma, but only when hes sad or crying-took him long enough!

went to a party at my sisters house last night, im so tired tonight, must sleep!

sorry this post lacked humor, maybe tomorrow.

Wednesday, September 24, 2008

phew!/ My Red Sox. uh-huh. i gotta say it.

For starters, my new best friend, writer of this blog- filled me in that the whole Gnome story is an urban legend, and she proved it. i feel so much better! i will sleep now! she rocks.

as for My Red Sox, I feel terrible for forgetting them while blogging thismorning. they clinched a playoff spot last night and I could not be happier. I'm still hoping we can pass Tampa and win the division, instead of taking the less impressive wild card spot, but it doesn't really matter. As long as they make the playoffs, I am happy. It doesn't take much to make me happy, does it?

I just took Shawn for a long walk and was hoping brian smell would be home so we could chat while the boys are still at school, he works odd hours, but he wasn't there. Oh, well.

interesting RAD stuff(i think)

The first thing I've been meaning to bring up is the shower thing. Ok.. so.. he takes absolutely SCALDING hot showers. The old valve in the tub, you couldn't tell. But the new one we installed 4 months ago is set up in a way that the on/off part is seperate from the cold/hot part. So.. when he gets out, he just turns the shower off, but his heat setting is left where it was. Did that make sense? Anyway, i get in after him every morning and OH. MY. GOSH. He has it set so high his skin is finally just gonna fall off. In fact, it's set to the hottest it can go. I havent said anything, because if I do, it turns into a big control thing. Yet, as winter approaches, he's gonna have major dryness issues, which he has anyway.....and never mind the fact that it's jut not good for him to burn himself every other morning. I'm just so glad he's showering(often without being told to, all of a sudden!) that I hate to open my fat trap and mess it all up. However, we also heat with oil, so he needs to turn the heat down in there and nevermind what it's doing to my freshly painted bathroom! Even with the fan, the extra hot water is not helping things. I used really great paint, but with all that's pretty steamy in there as of late.. then i get in and make it worse! anybody have a sneaky idea? i can certainly turn the heat down on the water heater, but with HIV, even though he's super healthy, having really hot water for hand washing dishes, dishwashers, floor washing.. is a good idea. so... I'm stuck.

Ok, pack your bags again kids. this is another doozy. TELL ME IF I'M OVER REACTING is a recent conversation.
jackson-"brian(Brandons dad, the church guy, KING of over stepping boundaries yadda yadda) has really cool guns."
Mom-(nonchalantly as possible) guns? really? what kind of guns?
jack- BIG ones! he has an M16 & a 22!
me-yah? where does he keep them?
jack- in his bedroom in his closet. he showed me.
me-(chopping vegetables loudly, making No eye contact))so.. he brought you into his bedroom, UNLOCKED his closet to show you his guns?
jack- no lock. but, yah they're cool! i want one!
me- well, in that case I'm sure the bullets were somewhere else so nobody gets hurt, so it's ok(which IT ISN'T).
jack- no! the bullets were in the guns! we took them out into the yard and shot SQUIRELLS WITH them.
me-the squirell lover-wow. cool. neat.
can i shoot Brian in the ass with a gun now???? what a complete PUTZ this guy is. my sister was in 1st grade with this idiot. no wonder she came home calling him brian smell. (his last name rhymes with smell). And to think i thought she was just being her typical mean self(no offense Amers!) This guy is the biggest tool. The above story is just so wrong, on so many levels.. So.. now i have to confront his THOUGHTLESS, RECKLESS, dumb ass. YAY. I mean, let's take the most messed-up-in-the-head kid in the entire town and show him MY GUNS!!!!! I think I am done having Jack play over there. Even if he made the whole thing up, which I highly doubt, I am done. The fact is, brian likes to have belching contests and is an immature moron. so there. That's my reason and I'm sticking to it.

Now Jackson is so obsessed with guns. It's ALL he talks about. Isn't that MY job? To spark his interest in killing small animals? I am tired of this guy stealing MY thunder!

Tuesday, September 23, 2008

just pictures

my mom made the sweater
she was doing some weird dance
snapped this one second too late :(

a boy & his dog(in the middle of the street)

Monday, September 22, 2008

life stinks bad sometimes

yesterday we went to see Kristin as planned, but not before we emptied our entire kitchen onto our deck and patio, so that we could use the roach bombs/foggers while we were away.. Not only were the bombs not successful in killing all the roaches, but it started pouring right before we arrived home and our stuff is wet. Doug returned from his Army drill weekend in time to get alot of it inside, but not all, and yogi's tools are wet too, they were in the bed of his truck. To top it all off, while we scrambled to put our kitchen back together so we could make dinner, the power went out. well... half of our power went out. we re-set the breaker 3 times, the power would return and then go off again. Yogi went to talk to the guy next door, hes an electrician. he came over and inspected and it turns out that our outdoor meter is the problem-so public service isnt responsible. Its old and messed up(arent i so technical??) and was catching fire, so we're lucky our house hasnt burned down. see, we've had issues for a few months now. flickering, huge power surges, weird stuff. C thinks the house is haunted. lets be honest-she hopes it is lol. but alas, its just an expensive repair job. yay! C took it hard, but we will work through it. the estimate we got today for the job is $500.00. waaaa.
oh, well. better than a fire !!!!! the water & ice machine in our fridge is busted too. i bought new parts today. hope they work. have i mentioned that we suffer a history of bad luck with pets & appliances???? i may be poor, but i refuse to go back to the ice tray life. they are forbidden. there will be no ice trays. i wont hear of it. i will drink warm beverages for the rest of my days first. if it was up to me, the blatant use of ice trays would be illegal in this country.
CRUD. he installed the new parts and it still doesnt work.
we had a blast with kristin up at UNH. she was really missing kendyl, and ken was really missing her too. we took her to IHOP(she loves breakfast) and took a long walk to a park and played. the kids had alot of fun, we brought the 2 youngest-jack was at his friends birthday party at a bowling alley. i am waiting for Kristin to post all the pics we took on facebook, then i will snag any good ones from there. i forgot my camera, which is a cannon sure shot in the 150$ range, for those of you who asked. i'm no photographer and wouldnt know what to do with all the bells and whistles on the pricey ones. i like simple. BUT i do love photos where the subject is clear, but the backround is blurry. what do i need to do that??????? i want that! tell me!

well... looks like i'm off to enjoy a warm pepsi!

Saturday, September 20, 2008

i triple love my new camera

The 2 littlest kids hadn't seen their Daddy in 3 days. he was gone before they woke up (and they're up EARLY!)and home after they were asleep. the roof is done and he came home tonight at 6:30 and kept them up way too late! I drove C home-shes so funny, shes SO into haunted houses and cemetaries, the paranormal and stuff like that, she's headed to a "haunting" tonight LOL goofy kid-and when i got back he had the baby all hyped up. Kendyl is feeling lousy still, so she was pretty subdued.
Off to see Kris tomorrow if Ken feels OK.
Jackson hurt himself on a bike jump today. His shoulder met a a tree stump but he didn't tell me for hours, so he didn't get ice or motrin or anything. Pretty typical behavior for him. So hopefully he'll feel better tomorrow too, because right now he's a hurtin' unit. MEN!

praise the babysitter!!!!

"C" figured out how to add my playlist to my blog!!!!! So if ya like the music, props & high fives to C. If you don't like my music, it's all C's fault. I only added a few songs to start, but soon the real torture will ensue. Better get your mute buttons ready! can you say SHOW TUNES????????????????

Ok.. pack your goody bags cuz we are headed for story land, folks! Have I got a DOOZY for you. Kris called last night with a tale that is so hard to believe I am still like... whoa.
Her friend's girlfriend's friend, we have no idea who she is or where she lives but... she claims that she and a bunch of friends were tripping on acid and decided to go steal a lawn gnome. After they stole one & brought it back to their dorm(apartment?), the gnome started to "talk" and "cry" and was "scary". They put it in the closet and went to sleep. When they woke up THERE WAS A HUMAN TODDLER ASLEEP IN THE CLOSET! They turned on the news and the kid's face was plastered on every channell. They panicked, fed 'it' a snack, put 'it' in the car and dropped 'it' off "somewhere" where it was soon found unscathed. The kids have not been caught or even suspected.
ok.... could this story have one bit of truth to it? freaked me right out, i admit it. what if they had hurt the "gnome"? They were scared of it, what if they ran it over with the car? threw it out the window? locked it in the trunk? SO scary. talk about traumatized! I'm such a ninnie! Kris and her buddy believe it. All of it. freaky.


Today is International Talk like A Pirate Day! Gale told me!

Friday, September 19, 2008

Not feeling well

poster Kris made for her dorm hall

I have a kidney that feels slightly heavier than lara flynn boyle. It's infected alright. I felt it coming on on Tuesday, gave in and got my meds today, so I'll be in ship shape in no time flat. Today was still a good day, beautiful weather too, I was just moving a bit slowly, is all. We hung out with Brody and his Grammy this afternoon after school, i can already see an improvement in his coping skills & frustration level since he started school on Monday. Now that's progress! He also learned 3 signs already. It's amazing what one on one -with trained teachers -can do in such a short time. A whole new world will open up for him now.

Yogi is on a date with his baby brother tonight. Jack is at a friend's house. The house is so quiet. Kinda nice! I'm watching the ball game with the mute button. we just pulled ahead!

Dakotah is suddenly best friends with the 2 puggles next door. They are having so much fun running zoomies every afternoon and now Dakotah is filthy dirty every night and limping because he's so outta shape lol. He hasn't had a doggie friend in just over a year, so he's thrilled. I gotta get some pictures. It's too adorable. I know, I'm so lame.

I ordered chinese food tonight. Bad bad bad. Better than smoking!

My RADical son had another fatastic day. Well.. the bed is wet of course, and he ate a dragonfly with jelly on it... but... still an A day.

Kristin bought 2 webcams and had one mailed here. Last night we got them both to work for the first time and Kendyl went absolutely bananas. I cannot describe the look of delight on her face. She's just so elated to see Sissy while talking. Tomorrow night Kris will read her a story she got at the library today. Sometimes I have great ideas! Kris thought of the webcam idea though.

Last night we sat Doug down and gave him The Talk. Yes, that talk. AGAIN. He is such a loose cannon. A free spirit. A renegade. A maverick. OK he's an idiot! There. I said it! Ya happy??????? I'm scared to death that his girlfried will end up pregnant. With quads. He always chooses girls that hate their parents and want to get out of their house. I adore his girlfriend, I really do, we both do, she's a doll but... ya know. She won't even be 17 until October and we just want to slow them down a bit. CHILL. School started ...what? 3 weeks ago? He has 3 F's & an A in his required courses. He's not doing homework often and is having way, way too much fun. He lacks focus as it is and after being suspended for 3 days... UGH. He also returned home from basic with 2k and has spent every cent. It was a long talk, to say the least. Oh, that boy.

I am buried in laundry, but am not up to doing it tonight. Is that ok? Oh good, thanks for saying so. I knew I could count on you.

My friend Jessie flies in tomorrow afternoon with the new baby girl she & her husband adopted from Arkansas-same agency as Shawn. Simeon has a baby sister! I cannot wait to go meet them and get pictures for them. Jess has been away from Simeon for 15 days. They have never been apart that long. Should be a wonderful home coming.

Still plan to go up to the college on Sunday. Kendyl is excited.

(15 minute break)

Kendyl just woke up hysterical with pajamas filled with pee and diarhhea. Geeeeeze. She's also coughing. She just got over a cold a week ago and now she has another viral thing. UGH

Did you notice I punctuated throughout?????????????????

Thursday, September 18, 2008

why do i care so much????

click here to see how my night went. OY. these guys are trying to put me in the grave, i know it. why i care, i have no idea. but i do. moving on....

yogi's best friend, his Navy buddy, Tim, is coming to stay with us for a week. he'll be here oct. 3rd. as thrilled as i am to finally meet him in person after 17 years of speaking to him on the phone, i feel kinda weird about it too. i nurse right out in the open, i hate being dressed at night, i run around in junky old pajamas that aren't really pajamas, no bra... i dont know. its gonna be odd, i think. Doug's friends are used to being around when i nurse but.. this guy has never had a child, no exposure to this stuff. i hope he doesn't feel all uncomfortable. the noise will kill him first.
i plan to drag him to clarks trading post to feed the bears, to the beach, to the fair.... keep him busy. he loves to cook, so that's good! he can stay forever! im hoping he'll let me chop off all his stupid Mid Life Crisis hair LOL

my RAD child is having another terrific week. suh-weeet! well... except for the bed wetting crap. i'll take it. he seems to like having a male teacher and wants to please him. YES.

Doug went back to school today. he couldnt wait. i kept him very busy!

Yogi is roofing my parents lake house today. he will be home LATE. its an hour away too...

we are hoping to go see kristin on Sunday after we set off the roach bombs. we miss her! we've gotten rid of most of the roaches, have seen very very few this week. we spent all weekend moving appliances, cleaning every drawer and cabinet, spraying like crazy.... i may be dreaming but they seem pretty much gone. am i naive? have they just migrated to another area? there must have been 50 of them on my bookshelf in the kitchen ewwwww!! as i was killing them they were falling on my feet, i thought id die right there. YUCKO. talk about creeped out.

kendyls best friend Brody has been diagnosed as autistic. i knew it the first day i met him, they finally just had him assessed. i hope they will always be friends and that ken stays patient with him and loves him. he is now enrolled in public school 4 days a week. atleast its free for his mom. she just got divorced from a mean guy and now this. shes hoping the school can potty train him. he'll be 4 in late january, 10 days after kendyl. its too bad. why so many kids with this now? maybe it really is a virus that causes it.

well...not much to tell today, i've hardly left the house this week. thats pretty much it for now. will check back in later!

Tuesday, September 16, 2008

Monday, September 15, 2008

our 2 oldest

doug 17 3/4 kris 19 1/2

assumptions/school suspensions

we all do it. we assume things about people. especially our neighbors, atleast in my case. ive had a very assumish week. yes, i just made up a word.

in the last 7-10 days, people i have come across in my daily life have assumed i am a democrat/liberal for the following reasons:

because of the "I love my soldier"/"proud parent of an Army National Guard soldier" bumper stickers on my truck

the fact that my husband is a union member(like they give you a choice when you take the job??) if we had the UNION YES! bumper sticker i could see it but....

because we have black children(so???)

because we are blue collar, one income.. yadda yadda

because we have a special needs child(the whole insurance thing maybe?)

because we live in new england

weird huh?

i also had an assumption made about my family when jackson was invited to sleep over a friends house. we gave the approval and the dad came to pick jackson up. he chatted with us for a bit and as he was walking out the door, jackson was ahead of him and the guy nonchalantly said,
"hes going to church with us in the morning and we'll bring him home after". ok.. uh.. huh? i dont recall anybody asking "would it be ok for us to take him to church in the morning? or would you like to pick him up before we leave?" i was so shocked i just kinda muttered "huh? church? ok. does he want to go with you?" he answered yes. but after i had time to think about it was kinda irritated. talk about OVER STEPPING, like this guy constantly does. am i taking it wrong? i mean, what if he were buddhist nudists????? pagans? voodoo devil worshippers??? i dont know.. just rubbed me the wrong way i guess. ASK. dont TELL. its really time to have a heart to heart (about BOUNDARIES) with this guy. UGH. its really getting to me now. we've been talking to him for about 6 months now, about jacksons issues, his need to be home with family alot, etc etc...he just insists that jackson is perfect for him, so it must be us. he tells us to
"lighten up"
"let him be a kid"
"hes a BOY!"
i love hearing parenting advice from a guy with ONE KID. a bio kid at that.
nobody should assume that WE werent going to church in the morning WITH our son.(Amy, stop laughing!) nobody should assume we are ok with their faith choices. my favorite part was when at SIX PM jackson wasnt home yet. my husband finally called and said "can we have our child back?" (get your own! LOL) think the guy got the hint? we were told (we didnt assume)that he would be home after church to take all his meds, so we didnt send them with him, so he never got his morning dose. the guy must have meant WAY WAY after church. silly me. my bad. but i shouldnt assume thats what he meant.

doug assumed that even though he is suspended from school for 3 days, that he can still have friends over. he assumed wrong. he was booted for calling his english teacher names after she made a very antagonistic comment about him being in the military. he & ben were goofing off and he threw a pencil onto the floor. she made a crass comment to both boys about the fact that they are way too immature to be soldiers, they must not have learned anything at basic training and she was EMBARRASSED that they were defending her freedom. over a pencil?????? talk about INNAPPROPRIATE. be a postive in their life, not a negative. dont instigate, especially an EH coded kid! funny how i learned all that as a teaching assistant, yet shes been a degreed teacher for many years and forgot it all. the principal is not happy with her, but still has to suspend doug, of course. he had no right to go off on her, whether shes anti- war, anti-military.. whatever she may be-and i will not assume she is either of those things, altough he does. kristin says shes an amazing, gifted writer, but a terrible teacher. i feel that since doug held his anger together at boot camp, never talked back once, he can do it with teachers. no? then be supended and wash & vacuum my truck, clean the bathroom, mow the lawn, clean the basement, empty the barn, move furniture, wash windows, scrub and defrost the 2 basement freezers, pressure wash the house and deck, make trips to the dump, clean gutters and be my all around, snap my fingers slave boy. i will call you Hersch. there. sorry your TV is missing, hersch. and no, i cant imagine where that pesky guitar & amplifier went to.

it's a beautiful day here in southern NH. GORGEOUS. my favorite time of year. i'm headed back outside now. gonna grill out some dinner soon since yogi is home today.
whats everybody up to?
hey fawn- i want a kitchen tile report STAT LOL
shea- are you the one who wanted the cuban mac & cheese recipe?
brenda- loved your blog yesterday
christine- i had trouble with your poll question, it wouldnt work, i am not computer savvy
jessie-when are you coming home?

Sunday, September 14, 2008


after a tough couple days, yesterday was really cool. AJ's parents are up in Maine at Sayle's Birthday Party, so they asked me to go to a big Compassionate Friends party on Saturday in their place. CF is a big support group for parents and siblings of kids(any age really though) who have died. Yogi was away ayway, so i told her I'd be honored to go, took C & the 2 youngest and went. i was so glad I did. it was at a big park behind a church, had a playground, junk food, a huge hamburger hotdog lunch, things for kids to do ....perfect. everyone was really nice, AJs parents even won a raffle item. we released butterflies at the end and WOW was Kendyl jazzed about that. i was SO glad i had C with me, especially since i didnt know anyone, and the kids were all over the place! but... even though they wouldnt eat anything(whats with these kids??), behaved very well as usual. C is "the Shiz". then, at the very end, they unveiled the bricks that are engraved with the kids names. while i packed up all the stuff and the kids, i asked C to grab the camera and just quickly look for it so we could snap a pic for AJ's mom. the babies were tired and ready to go home and so was i. there were HUNDREDS and hundreds of bricks and hundreds of people crowding to look for their child's name. i didnt have much hope of finding it, but really was ready to leave. C walked towards the long road of bricks and in 2 seconds, the brick was right in front of her. the lady next to me said "i think GOD knows you need to get home!" what a neat day. the timing couldnt have been sweeter. hmmmmm.

Friday, September 12, 2008

lesson for the day, by Ali

ya know those nights where ya wanna blog but you have so many thoughts swimming around in your head you cant make enough sense of it all to blog anything?????? how was that for a run on sentence? are ya proud? i thought so.
i had to leave the babies home alone to drive the neighborhood looking for jackson just now. well.. he was where he was supposed to be, but its 915 at night. time to come home. the dad was about to drive him home, he was having the boys clean up.
yogi is on his weird business trip to NJ. we miss daddy! but we didnt miss cooking! 2 words- PIZZA HUT.
i want diet pepsi and ice cream, yet i am out of both and i cant leave.
doug & ben went up to hang with kristin at the college. they took chicks with them. various chicks.
red sox are winning.
last night i went to see AJ's parents. i hadnt really had them all to myself since AJ died 3 1/2 year ago. i would write "click HERE to read past post about who AJ(sayle's Daddy) is" and do a link thing, but i dont know how. so look back to like.. july 26th's post(the kids birthday party pics) to read that if you want.
anyway, its hard to visit at his house, his pictures are everywhere, candles....i feel him all over that house. AJs mom & i got to talking about him and we were crying a bit and she mentioned something about his death in the hospital and pulling the plug and all that stuff. since i didnt make the trip up to Maine to say goodbye to him before they pulled the plug, i had missed alot of details of the accident and i had carried some lingering questions in my mind for the last 3+ years but had never really had the opportunity to ask her, or AJ's wife, any of them. so when i told her that she told me to ask anything i wanted-she loves talking about him, even the bad stuff.. so i did. lets just say i wasnt as prepared for the answers as i thought i was. it was very hard & disturbing to hear alot of it, and was a very tough night for me after that. it felt like the first day all over again. like getting The Call when kendyl was 10 days old all over again. he went through more than i thought he did, his body was more battered than i knew, and he was more aware of what was going on than i had originally heard. no chance for the organ donation i had wondered if took place. i'm still glad i know, but its hard to explain...i held myself pretty much together and we still had a great visit after all. AJ's father was in an adjacent room having a weekly bible study with some guys the whole time, but after the guys left we visited briefly. i stayed until after 10 and drove home from the city in a daze. yogi was awake, much to my surprise, and he took one look at me & knew it had ended up being much more than the usual good cry with sylvie. i ended up being up late, filling Yogi in (at his insistance)& crying and crying until i had no tears left. hearing it all was one thing-repeating it all to someone was another! it felt like day one, back to square one. then i was up at 5 with Shawn for the day. OY! i am ok, i'm fine, i just need a few days i think...but sleeping didnt happen. disturbed sleep at best.
so... heres your lesson for the day: if youre not totally sure you can handle the answers, dont ask the questions!
REST IN PEACE baby boy.
doug, ben & the chicks are back. they all wanna sleep over. i told them they can, but only if they go buy me some ice cream. i love kids!
night girls!

Thursday, September 11, 2008

varied items of interest. sort of.

leaving for college 07
leaving for college 08-note that i am always stuck in the backseat. hhmmpphh.
best friend Bryan-hes an actor in NYC
with prom date Kristofer-it poured all day & night . the matching umbrella is complete coincidence
kris called. shes no longer interested in spanish as her major. shes going "undeclared" for now. she may go with environmental sciences or pre-med. does this mean she will need her bedroom forever? LOL. we miss her, she still hasn't come home since she left aug. 20th. she may not come home for quite a while-too busy!
spouse still has not been called back to work at his job in boston. hes roofing and remodeling a kitchen full time for now, its going ok. hes got work lined up for weeks to come, as of now. i am painting part time with my sore neck.
our lame town isnt doing anything to commemorate 9/11 this year. no comment on that.
is it Thursday already?????
no comment on the Red Sox either. to think were just half a game away from.. wait-i said i had no comment. pounding my fist in anger.
Shawn is awake and wailing at 520 every morning now. NO COMMENT!
colonial pest control wants 300$ to get rid of our cockroach problem. i thought i had Ugly Kitchen Bugs. turns out they are roaches. i could just DIE. northern variety, came in with some fresh vegetables he says. i told him i will tag them, name them & keep them as pets before i hand him 300$. we decided we will try store bought roach fogger/bombs first.
wanna come sleep over??????????????????????
never trust a 3 year old to get the mail. nuff said.
i will attempt to snap some great pictures with my new discount camera today!
yogi is going away for the weekend. a work thing, even though hes unemployed. go figure. the only good part is that i wont have to cook. nice break.
kendyl is LOVING going to school 3 days a week instead of 2. shes so happy! "mom, miss tammi says i get to come back on Friday!" she acts like its chuck e cheese LOL
not seeing much effort on jacksons part in the homework dept. so much for cell phones! doug doesnt seem to be putting much time in either. no sweat of my tush- i can't afford cell phones anyway! all that bribing.. i mean PROMISING for NOTHING!
my kids are all so hyper thismorning holy cow.
my dog chewed up kendyls free webpet she got at burger king. shes sad. what is a web pet anyway? its not even a spider!
i have a HUGE household project to complete today. pretending that its Tackle It Tuesday. hoping to stay focused and not be distracted by phone calls, computer, kids etc. yah right!!!! fawn, stop laughing!
i am so out of the loop. my friend complained that she spends 75$ a month at Starbucks. i have never been to a Starbucks. i felt so... dirty! LOL. i spend 75$ a month at... no idea. will Starbucks complete me? fill me in!
my neighbors just had their baby boy 9 weeks early. please pray for Tabor Gallagher!
must go make breakfast! do i work here? WTH?????

Wednesday, September 10, 2008

new pics

finally cut his cake last night, he was finally "ready".
pics i finally framed & hung of Shawn with his birth parents above his crib(the one in kendyls room that i WANT him to sleep in, not the one in my room!)

do they look ok?