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Monday, September 29, 2008

questions/ teasing autistic kids

thismorning was a questionish kind of morning for my RADdy son. when RAD kids, especially hyper active RAD kids get bored or just want to control a conversation or interaction they ask questions. lots of them. today was no different. the final Q was:
whats for dinner tonight?
(i tell him what i plan to make, how it will be cooked, a dinner he really likes)
why are we having that?
why not such & such? i want such & such.
(that meat is frozen)
why cant we just cook it frozen?
(then i give a technical, honest answer why frozen food cant safely be thrown in the oven to make RAD boy happy, and he attempts to make me feel stupid with nonsense comments like "huh? what? youre crazy. that makes no sense. thats not how you do such & such... blah blah blah......" he also makes those eye rolling "youre SUCH an un-cool moron!" faces and uses this lovely Nepoleon Dynamite tone.
i told him dinner would be served at the usual time and would be yummy & plentiful, with leftovers(he checks the fridge for leftovers 7 times a day). i tried to end the conversation. he wasnt done. he wasnt havin' it. no way. he continued to try to control the conversation by being contrary. i repeated myself once, then refused to participate. then his concerta took effect and he closed his mouth for a while. OY. but he was still irritated that i wouldnt play his game. when i raise my voice in frustration he likes to smile and innocently ask "why are you yelling?" so i DO NOT take the bait.

the autistic kid down the street is angry again. well.. his mom is. im at a loss as to how to handle it. she came to our door while i was getting my hair done on thursday night. she says jack was teasing her son. jack claims that he & cahi(pronounced Ky) asked the kid if he wanted to play football 3 times, and the kid kept saying "no! i wouldnt play anything with you guys!you guys are savages!" so they ignored him and played. he also claimed he was a super hero, if that matters. then he went home and told mom they left him out, used him as a monkey -in- the- middle kinda thing and called him names. cahi's driveway is the bus stop. cahi is hyper and annoying. his mom watches like a hawk and claims the boy's story is true and the other kid is full of it. the town wants the angry kid to ride the short bus. mom refuses to allow it. (but yet she wants the services she wants and claims that she wont allow him to be coded as autistic.) she says she is "teaching him to advocate for himself" by telling him to make a list of the kids who are "mean" to him and give it her her each night(then who's advocating????) and told my husband a bunch of "my son has special needs" jargon. yogi told her he knew all about special ed., jackson has special needs too. he told her he would talk to jackson. 2 years ago she was at my door because jack was calling her son names on the bus. i flipped out on him when he exited the bus that afternoon. i embarassed my son in front of the other kids. i later found out jack was calling him ROBERT. his name is robert but they call him robby i guess. ROBERT. was he calling him that(along with his friend) because he knew the kid hates it and would flip out? YES. but.... ROBERT????? youre at my door for the word ROBERT????? so... no issues for 2 years, but now they are together again in the same school. i think its funny that ROBERT can call jack the N word repeatedly and thats supposed to be ok. hmmm. think he learned that word from his teachers? his Disney movie obsession? from the doll he carries around when he rides his bike? his dentist? HIS PARENTS??????????????? just curious.


Brenda said...

frustrating neighbors. Your morning conversation sounds like ours. I generally answer the "What's for dinner? question with "Food." When they are nonsensical controlling questions I say "I'm sorry I'm not taking questions right now." In the most pleasant voice I can muster. If it becomes too much of a problem I give them 8 questions per day. So when they say "Why is the dishwasher white?" "That' one question. It is white to match our other appliances." That sort of thing. When we get to number 8 then the answer is always to opposite of whatever they want it to be. Eventually they think before they ask.

Unspeakable Joy said...

oh man, only another rad mom would know how darn annoying that "huh" question can be!!!!!! i HATE that from ours oh my word! of course i don't like the hundreds of nonsense ones preceding it, but when it turns to the huh i just hate that.