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Monday, September 15, 2008

assumptions/school suspensions

we all do it. we assume things about people. especially our neighbors, atleast in my case. ive had a very assumish week. yes, i just made up a word.

in the last 7-10 days, people i have come across in my daily life have assumed i am a democrat/liberal for the following reasons:

because of the "I love my soldier"/"proud parent of an Army National Guard soldier" bumper stickers on my truck

the fact that my husband is a union member(like they give you a choice when you take the job??) if we had the UNION YES! bumper sticker i could see it but....

because we have black children(so???)

because we are blue collar, one income.. yadda yadda

because we have a special needs child(the whole insurance thing maybe?)

because we live in new england

weird huh?

i also had an assumption made about my family when jackson was invited to sleep over a friends house. we gave the approval and the dad came to pick jackson up. he chatted with us for a bit and as he was walking out the door, jackson was ahead of him and the guy nonchalantly said,
"hes going to church with us in the morning and we'll bring him home after". ok.. uh.. huh? i dont recall anybody asking "would it be ok for us to take him to church in the morning? or would you like to pick him up before we leave?" i was so shocked i just kinda muttered "huh? church? ok. does he want to go with you?" he answered yes. but after i had time to think about it was kinda irritated. talk about OVER STEPPING, like this guy constantly does. am i taking it wrong? i mean, what if he were buddhist nudists????? pagans? voodoo devil worshippers??? i dont know.. just rubbed me the wrong way i guess. ASK. dont TELL. its really time to have a heart to heart (about BOUNDARIES) with this guy. UGH. its really getting to me now. we've been talking to him for about 6 months now, about jacksons issues, his need to be home with family alot, etc etc...he just insists that jackson is perfect for him, so it must be us. he tells us to
"lighten up"
"let him be a kid"
"hes a BOY!"
i love hearing parenting advice from a guy with ONE KID. a bio kid at that.
nobody should assume that WE werent going to church in the morning WITH our son.(Amy, stop laughing!) nobody should assume we are ok with their faith choices. my favorite part was when at SIX PM jackson wasnt home yet. my husband finally called and said "can we have our child back?" (get your own! LOL) think the guy got the hint? we were told (we didnt assume)that he would be home after church to take all his meds, so we didnt send them with him, so he never got his morning dose. the guy must have meant WAY WAY after church. silly me. my bad. but i shouldnt assume thats what he meant.

doug assumed that even though he is suspended from school for 3 days, that he can still have friends over. he assumed wrong. he was booted for calling his english teacher names after she made a very antagonistic comment about him being in the military. he & ben were goofing off and he threw a pencil onto the floor. she made a crass comment to both boys about the fact that they are way too immature to be soldiers, they must not have learned anything at basic training and she was EMBARRASSED that they were defending her freedom. over a pencil?????? talk about INNAPPROPRIATE. be a postive in their life, not a negative. dont instigate, especially an EH coded kid! funny how i learned all that as a teaching assistant, yet shes been a degreed teacher for many years and forgot it all. the principal is not happy with her, but still has to suspend doug, of course. he had no right to go off on her, whether shes anti- war, anti-military.. whatever she may be-and i will not assume she is either of those things, altough he does. kristin says shes an amazing, gifted writer, but a terrible teacher. i feel that since doug held his anger together at boot camp, never talked back once, he can do it with teachers. no? then be supended and wash & vacuum my truck, clean the bathroom, mow the lawn, clean the basement, empty the barn, move furniture, wash windows, scrub and defrost the 2 basement freezers, pressure wash the house and deck, make trips to the dump, clean gutters and be my all around, snap my fingers slave boy. i will call you Hersch. there. sorry your TV is missing, hersch. and no, i cant imagine where that pesky guitar & amplifier went to.

it's a beautiful day here in southern NH. GORGEOUS. my favorite time of year. i'm headed back outside now. gonna grill out some dinner soon since yogi is home today.
whats everybody up to?
hey fawn- i want a kitchen tile report STAT LOL
shea- are you the one who wanted the cuban mac & cheese recipe?
brenda- loved your blog yesterday
christine- i had trouble with your poll question, it wouldnt work, i am not computer savvy
jessie-when are you coming home?


Brenda said...

That guy did over step boundaries. Church is a very personal thing. Someone should ask first. So what is your son doing during his 3 day suspension? That is always a tough one for me.

Brenda said...

Thanks Ai! I generally take it fairly easy on Mondays because I have class until 10:30 and don't get home until 11:30. I had coffee with a friend. Went and swam laps. Ate lunch with my hubby. I've been looking for an Asian event to attend for my multiculture class.....I'm getting ready for school. Exciting stuff.

Cervato said...

Um, was TOTALLY KIDDING about the New England/Democrat comment...geeze o pete! :)

I assume since you still refrence me in your posts you still love me though.

Tile is waiting....waiting...waiting for me.

Last night like an idiot I envited a group of people from church to our house for a meeting in November. Sort of wasn't thinking about the exposed 2X4s and insulation in the kitchen. I guess I just gave myself a deadline.

Shea said...

Maybe the guy assumes you know him well enough to know that he goes to church and Jackson would go with him naturally. I make no qualms about being a Christian. However, you will find I am one of the most accepting people you will ever meet. I am inflexible about my religious beliefs, but the main difference with me is that I understand a lot of other people feel the same way too. Yes, it would have probably been more appropriate for him to ask though I admit we have taken many people's kids to church, but we also knew most were believers. I also admit that if my child were over a muslim friend's house, I would have to think long and hard about services and would hope they would ask me first. So I really do get where you are coming from. I'm sorry so many people have made assumptions of you. To be honest it never occurred to me to wonder if you were democrat or not. I've just been accepting you for being you and loving learning about your family lol.

Desire to show gratitude said...

You couldn't be a democrat because you are WAY too smart :-)

I can't believe the nerve of Doug's teacher to say a comment like that. Not that I promote disrespect to a teacher, but maybe an eye roll??

We always offer to take kids to church with us, but we always ask the parents first. We aren't nudist Buddhists, though (you really wouldn't WANT to see me in the nude, either!)

bestlifelessons said...

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Mike and Katie said...

I've got some catching up to do. But the babies on my back and needs to get to bed. Then mountains fo algebra and chemistry ( more algebra) await me.