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Tuesday, April 6, 2010

lessons I've learned lately, by Ali-installment 4

you can read installments 1,2 & 3 here.

1. Don't ever put a Milky Way bar into your go bag before visiting to a 105*F beach.

2. Some workout plans/fitness equipment look way more fun on the info-mercial.

3. Don't deliver candy to a neighbor who is mad at your dog.

4. Jellybeans aren't washable, by any means, ever.

5. airline attendants aren't as kind as they look. they also carry stun guns and are trained to use them, if neccessary.

6. "color safe" doesn't mean you should mix brand new reds with whites.

7. it's safer not to use orange oil on a railing that the kids like to slide down every day.

8. again, and worth repeating- cats aren't great swimmers. use caution.

9. typically, when you step out through a hotel room door, it locks.

10. in most cases, husbands don't enjoy April Fool's jokes that involve a missing passport or a malaria diagnosis.
11. never challenge a garage door opener. it'll win every time.
12. It's never a good idea to let toddlers play catch with a 10 lb. ball, atleast not in the bedroom.
13. diarreah isn't usually a one time event. take your time. relax your schedule a bit. cancel all un necessary engagements. trust me on this.

1 comment:

jeri said...

Where the heck was I when Ali-installments 1-3 were published?! You know,if I hadn't lived most of them....they'd be funnier...or is that less funny? Gaacckkk, stomach is rumbling...I'm clearing my schedule and will get back to you on that! LOL Thanks for the laughs Ali.