p.s.

its 330. it has now been exactly a year since i walked into the agency, heart racing, palms sweating... and L. smiled & handed shawn, her newborn baby, to me with tears in her eyes. she was so beautiful in person and so was the baby. i will never forget that moment as long as i live. when i think about the loving, selfless choice she made, i am humbled beyond words. when i saw L. & Shawn's father at the hotel a few days later, he met his son for the first-and last- time and took cell phone pics of him with this big smile on his face. they have the same hands. i asked him "what do you want for your son?" he answered, "i want him to always have fun." i told him, "he's going to have lots of fun, i promise." 10 minutes later, they left. & that was it. i have never heard from either of them again, even though L. claimed she wanted something "open." when i e mailed L. to tell her i was leaving the next morning, and threw out some options as to how we could meet up one more time(which she had said she really wanted), she did send back a quick e mail telling me she had to go to dental school, and i should just head on home. i send pics and letters every 8 weeks, & i have sent 4 e mails since coming home, but i have never heard from her again. maybe she meant "semi-open". shawn was her 2nd child with an adoptive placement(the couple who adopted her 1st child did not want a 2nd-DUMMIES!), so i figured she knew how much contact she truly wanted, but maybe it was too much. i don't know..... but i hope she's happy to be receiving the pictures. she is a wonderful young lady, who i sincerely love. enough of memory lane lol
fussy boy is awake now......he actually took a good nap. maybe he will be happier now! i got lots of scrubbing done-even the microwave! woot woot! go me!