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Friday, July 18, 2008

lessons i've learned lately... By Ali

* grated cheese, indiscriminately left on the kitchen floor and counters, is strangely not the mouse deterent we were really looking for (Chewey took up residence about 2 months ago, and he has ruined all my rubbery baby spoons and pooped in my silverware drawers!)
* when teenage boys join the Army, they call their girlfriends-not their moms.
* when a small animal dies in the street in front of your house, don't let your dog go "check it out"(i will spare you the illicit details)
* don't ever take a shopping cart into a public bathroom. again, no details.
* corn on the cob, carelessly discarded in a backyard fire pit, is not the woodchuck(chucky) or skunk(stinky) deterent we had in mind.
* don't ever allow your dog to wrestle a skunk for an ear of corn. mmhhmmm.
* when 3 kids are jumping on a trampoline, somebody is going to come off crying.
* dog shampoo and dish detergent are NOT the same thing, afterall. think BUBBLES.
* black guy's lips turn grey right before they throw up.
* don't let kids go on a tilt-a-whirl after eating 3 bags (or more) of cotton candy(see above)
* don't challenge kids to a cotton candy eating contest-it just doesn't pay in the end.(see above)
* bikers aren't always nice. but don't tell them so. they say bad words!
* when climbing out of an SUV, be sure the driver has put the vehicle in 'park' first. i learned this second hand.
* when driving someone to the ER, don't tease them for stepping out of a moving vehicle. they stop talking to you for some reason.
* wrapping a wet toddler in a towel and telling them "now, go tear it up!" isn't wise. don't let them comb their own hair either.
* bicycles are more of an outdoor thing. trust me on this.
* when your kid asks you to "tye dye" something, JUST SAY NO.
* telephones and kiddie pools don't mix.
* ipods and kiddie pools don't mix either.
* neither do boxes of kleenex and kiddie pools.
* when one kid tells you another kid "did something" in the pool, she's not talking about drool. it's urgent. move quickly. don't dawdle.
* "mom, i fixed it!" has multiple meanings. investigate thoroughly.
* cops pull you over when items are being flung out of your vehicle through the sun roof.
what have YOU learned lately?????? i tag erin & julie!

4 comments:

Brenda said...

First time reader. I followed you here from Christines. I enjoyed your lessons learned!

Erin said...

GOOD GOD ALI! WHY YOU HAVE TO TAG ME?? YOU MUST LIKE MY BOOTIE!

Farm Fresh Jessica said...

I had to laugh out loud. Several times!

Justju said...

OMGOMGOMG...bahahahaha...snort, giggle, grin, cough...those were great. You tagged me, but I'm freaking boring as ole hell...I have none as excellent as those.