* grated cheese, indiscriminately left on the kitchen floor and counters, is strangely not the mouse deterent we were really looking for (Chewey took up residence about 2 months ago, and he has ruined all my rubbery baby spoons and pooped in my silverware drawers!)
* when teenage boys join the Army, they call their girlfriends-not their moms.
* when a small animal dies in the street in front of your house, don't let your dog go "check it out"(i will spare you the illicit details)
* don't ever take a shopping cart into a public bathroom. again, no details.
* corn on the cob, carelessly discarded in a backyard fire pit, is not the woodchuck(chucky) or skunk(stinky) deterent we had in mind.
* don't ever allow your dog to wrestle a skunk for an ear of corn. mmhhmmm.
* when 3 kids are jumping on a trampoline, somebody is going to come off crying.
* dog shampoo and dish detergent are NOT the same thing, afterall. think BUBBLES.
* black guy's lips turn grey right before they throw up.
* don't let kids go on a tilt-a-whirl after eating 3 bags (or more) of cotton candy(see above)
* don't challenge kids to a cotton candy eating contest-it just doesn't pay in the end.(see above)
* bikers aren't always nice. but don't tell them so. they say bad words!
* when climbing out of an SUV, be sure the driver has put the vehicle in 'park' first. i learned this second hand.
* when driving someone to the ER, don't tease them for stepping out of a moving vehicle. they stop talking to you for some reason.
* wrapping a wet toddler in a towel and telling them "now, go tear it up!" isn't wise. don't let them comb their own hair either.
* bicycles are more of an outdoor thing. trust me on this.
* when your kid asks you to "tye dye" something, JUST SAY NO.
* telephones and kiddie pools don't mix.
* ipods and kiddie pools don't mix either.
* neither do boxes of kleenex and kiddie pools.
* when one kid tells you another kid "did something" in the pool, she's not talking about drool. it's urgent. move quickly. don't dawdle.
* "mom, i fixed it!" has multiple meanings. investigate thoroughly.
* cops pull you over when items are being flung out of your vehicle through the sun roof.
what have YOU learned lately?????? i tag erin & julie!
4 comments:
First time reader. I followed you here from Christines. I enjoyed your lessons learned!
GOOD GOD ALI! WHY YOU HAVE TO TAG ME?? YOU MUST LIKE MY BOOTIE!
I had to laugh out loud. Several times!
OMGOMGOMG...bahahahaha...snort, giggle, grin, cough...those were great. You tagged me, but I'm freaking boring as ole hell...I have none as excellent as those.
Post a Comment