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Wednesday, November 11, 2009

Dear So & So painting client

I am here to paint your living room. i am not, however, here to:
help you plan your toddler grandson's Birthday Party
teach you how to use the new scanner you bought
boil eggs for the get together at the nursing home
listen to you rehearse for karaoke night. GOD, PLEASE NO!
shop online for window treatments
hear your "funny bathroom story"
train you in Craig's list etiquette
counsel you in your marital woes
hear your thoughts on politics, religion, the death penalty, govt. buy outs, or the price of shell fish
examine your moles
diagnose your rashes
move your furniture
check your dog for ticks
straighten your hair
put drops in your eyes
answer creditor phone calls
dry your tears
wake your husband *for his pills*
design your pantry
organize your canned goods
answer your door
entertain your ferret
clean your jewelry
figure out what's stuck in your garbage disposal
or anything else that doesn't involve painting your walls.
thank you very much, and have a wonderful evening. see you at 8am. I am going to go home and gouge out my eyes and ears now. night!