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Wednesday, July 1, 2009

RAD, Rain & Related Rantings


10pm 06/30

Some days are easy, relatively speaking. Other days are so, so, so hard. It’s often 2 steps forward, 8 steps back with our RADical son. Difficult days can begin so innocently. Today was no exception. I only went to his bedroom to be sweet. Super, uber sweet. I bought a new plastic mattress cover and needed to put it on, the other one had a rip, and I even went all out and made his bed up all nice for him, ya know.. just to be sweet. (He tends to just throw a blanket over the plastic and lay down, within hours he’s asleep on the plastic in a puddle of urine. He‘s very, very lazy that way… Ok…in every way LOL) Anyway, I wish I had taken pictures of what I found. I will be a copy cat and use my friend Tara’s “bullet point” method of reporting….Bring you all up to speed, so to speak.

* 2 Boston Market takeout containers, filled with mold, in closet #1

* 4 pear/apple cores on carpet

* 2 banana peels on book shelf

* several chunks of orange rind, enough for about 4 oranges, spread throughout the room and in between pages of books

* 7 fruit snack packages

* 11 granola bar wrappers

* 43 urine soaked clothing items in closet #2.

* The Red Sox “David Ortiz” team jersey Doug has been very vocal about searching for for the last 3 months, underneath all the urine-soaked clothing in closet #2

* 4 brand new pair of Doug’s jeans, 3 of them flannel lined, 3 purchased by yours truly, 1 pair that Doug bought for himself, all completely shredded with scissors.

* 3 “missing” DVDs
* 2 I pod shuffles, of unknown origin. 1 turned out to be Kristin’s, stolen from her bedroom 13 mos. ago.

* 3 notebooks, swimming in urine. Poor, poor, innocent closet #2.

* 2 disposable razors

* MY nail clippers

* 2 pair of scissors

* can of neon blue spray paint, hidden behind the bed, sprayed on carpet and wall behind the bed. Also sprayed all over a childhood stuffed animal of Doug’s, which was also hidden behind the bed and destroyed.

* 1 box of pencils, every single one broken in half.

* various wall chargers, no idea what they charge or who they belong to.

* drawings I can’t even talk about

* 2 town league basketball jerseys he promised me he had given back to his coach

* Jay's favorite ScarFace T shirt-had been missing all through the winter and early spring.

* Kristin brought home a crate of expired, 20oz. Bottles of Soda from her job at Dominos Pizza. I found 5 of them up there, hidden all over. So… drink 20 oz. of pop in the middle of the night when you’re a bed wetter. Self help plan? Great.
The spray paint threw me over the edge. I was calm until I saw that mess. I went down to the kitchen and pitched a huge cutting board at the air conditioner and broke the damn thing. I also threw a tea kettle out the door. I burst into tears. Then I felt better. Did I mention it’s still raining? I’m also typing this post in Microsoft word and saving it to put in my blog when I get my internet back. Yup. No phone. No internet. Crapped out at 840 this morning. Phone company *might* fix it tomorrow, they *might not*. I am in such a bad mood! Uncle Tim is helping me.. Oh, who the hell am I kidding? He’s pretty much doing it all… get through the 20 loads of laundry we pulled out of Jackson’s room. Can you say UREA?????????? Oh, Dear Lord, the SMELL! I need a serious vacation, but I will never get one. 20 years is a long time. I’m just sayin'.


update: 7/1/09 3:30pm

internet restored.

STILL RAINING.

# of times we have watched Toy story 2 in the last week: 21

# of laundry loads out of jacksons room yesterday: 9

# of boredom induced dog fights: 2

# of calls to Verizon/Fairpoint about internet loss: 7

# of swear words used -by me-in last 24-48 hours: 14

# of MJ songs i have listened to since he died: 66

# of times i have indulged in emotional eating during this time of.. um...unrest: 3(go me!)

# of hours of enjoyment brought forth by the mail today-a HUGE box of miscellaneous Toy Story action figures & vehicles i won from EBAY for 22$(SCORE!!!): 5 so far!(another GO ME)

# of times i have been asked "what did you do to your hair????" since going blonde: 41

# of extra showers i have taken as of late, just to get away from all these people and animals and noise: 10

# of times i have begged God to stop the rain-just for 2 days-: 4

# of times i have dreamed about sunshine: 2

# of times my foster dog has peed in the house to avoid the rain: 4

# of times i have wanted my foster dog to run away: 7 ok.. 9. but i love her.

# of unsettling dreams i had last night: 3

# of hugs I've needed-and gotten- yesterday and today: 11 and counting

# of times i have told myself, "do not give up. nobody ever told you this would be a walk in the park, Biotch! Girlfriend! in the last 2 days: 460

460 times should be enough. right?

starting over, moving past & letting go....

ali... OUT.



8 comments:

Christine said...

It was about a year ago when we stripped all the carpet out of the boys' room, and just painted the cement. Made it much easier to locate the pee. Also easier to just slide furniture out of the way for him to clean it.

It doubles as an indoor basketball court. :)

Erin said...

((((((((Ali))))))))
Christine has a great idea!

Mothering4Money said...

Wanna meet up at the beach? You so need to get away! HUGS

Torina said...

Have you read this blog? http://thisworkstinks.blogspot.com All about pee baby

MomInTheTrench said...

He'll leave the mattress protector on?? Man, I'm jealous! What I'm not envious of is the food waste, stolen items, and paint mess. You're a saint.

I look forward to reading more.

Arthur Becker-Weidman, PhD said...

There are effective treatments for children who have experienced pervasive early trauma and Reactive Attachment Disorder.

Dyadic Developmental Psychotherapy is an evidence-based, effective, and empirically validated family treatment. (See Creating Capacity for Attachment, edited by Arthur Becker-Weidman & Deborah Shell)

also, there is information for parents that you may find helpful at www.center4FamilyDevelop.com

MomInTheTrench said...

Is that the same model Daniel A. Hughes made? His books are fantastic. Will check out that site. Thanks.

Arthur Becker-Weidman, PhD said...

Yes, Dan and I both use the same approach, Dyadic Developmental Psychotherapy.