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Saturday, September 26, 2009

RAD and football don't mix

Jack asked if he could ride his bike to the highschool to watch the football game last night. He wanted to leave at 330 to watch the team practice. I told him he could go, but needed to come back home at 530 for dinner, then we would talk about when & where i would pick him up after the game was over. I was tempted to give him the cell phone, but remembered it was dead and didn't want to start the whole cell phone thing up again. He, of course, never came home for dinner and I was so busy here with dinner, bath time for the youngest kids,bed time, Yogi went up to UNH to get Kristin for the weekend, "C", our former Mommy's helper who moved to Maine, is staying with us because her Mom is back in the hospital with her diabetes and we hate having her up there alone, its so rural..... i was just BUSY! at 9 we could tell the game was over because now that the highway is being widened and trees have come down, we can hear everything at the highschool, its only 3 miles from here. No Jackson. Finally, C & Unlce Tim went to find him. he wasnt at the highschool. Several people told C & T that he had been there, but was alone, not with the friends he mentioned, and had left. Everyone in town knows Jackson, he's the only black guy here. After they left to go look elsewhere, one of C's friends called her to say he had just seen Jackson and approched him but Jackson ran away. C&T looked at the town basketball yard, no sign of him there, then went back to the hishschool and didn't see him. Then, just as they were leaving for the 3rd time, they saw him just walking aimlessly, alone, on the sidewalk-no bike. He sure was happy to see them. He said he was looking for his bike. He had leaned it up against the building instead of putting it in the bike rack with all the others and someone had stolen it. NH is so low crime, i am shocked, but it does happen. Everyone had left, he was all alone just walking. He has NO self help skills and had totally panicked and searched the woods for his bike and walked around looking, but without a plan. There was police presence, but he is terrified of police, most Haitian kids are! We have tried for years to fix that, but we havent been successful there. I still don't have the whole story, but I told him i was very worried when he didnt come home at all, and that he just isn't ready(or "strong enough YET"-like that Christine?) to have this much freedom. too much too soon. From now on i will drop him off with a bike and pick him up, but not until later down the road, since he CHOSE not to come back for dinner and make a plan with me and because he lied about being with a group. luckily, the bike was the one my Dad found at the dump, but Uncle Tim had just put brand new pedals and seat on the thing UGH. he doesn't seem to care. i bought him a brand new bike, his 4th new bike since 03, a year ago, but he took it all apart and cant put it together. Its in the barn in pieces, along with several other bikes he's had in the past. how much hand holding am i expected to do???? Today i asked him, in a very non threatening way, what his plan was so he'd have a bike this fall. "no plan" was his answer. siiighhhhhh. so now he doesnt have a bicycle. I know he's down about it, but needs more time before we talk. after he went to bed last night, my husband kissed me and told me he was proud of the way i handled everything. maybe i'm finally getting good at this RAD thing. Only took me 100 years. football stinks. I need a beer LOL


Christine said...

You are a wise one, grasshopper.

MomInTheTrench said...

Ali, I always remember to read your blog when I'm down. That's a compliment, really. I use the "sure, you can do that when you're ready" or the "when you're strong enough" too. Must've read it somewhere, or just channeling your Christine. You're a good mom. Thanks for posting the crazyness.