just some pics of our new p-o-o-l!

got it for %50 off today at my grocery store! she was SOOOOOO excited. so were my dogs @@

parade pics, party pics from Kitty's house, misc...

blake, kris, kendyl, elizabeth, annah-mai, jackson, shawn & Natallie

i know, shes adorable huh?

i just like this picture for some reason

july 1st, i loved her look. sandals from my mom.

have i mentioned i LOVE clowns? he even posed for me, i wanted to go home with him, i swear.

how far away from our family jackson stood. total self sabotage.. choices.

i LOVE old trucks

he chose to stand 30 feet away from us, all alone, even though a very good friend of his was right in front of us catching candy along the roadside. i tried coaxing him, he refused. stoic. whatever!

totally "in the spotlight" and freaked out!

my favorite clowns, they come every year.

decorating our wagon for July 4th parade!

holidays &"The RAD Crazometer"

My blogger friend, "Trixie", (she won't tell me her real name so i gave her a really dweeby one. hey, i warned her!) says that holidays really raise the Crazometer at her house. i told her i was gonna steal her cool RAD term for my blog. I'm a great friend like that.
Anyway, we've had a great few days, but yesterday Kris emptied that bathroom trash because Uncuh was going to the dump. she placed new bags in the 3 little trash cans we have in there. I just went in there to get ready to go and noticed that the trash cans all have urine in them. no wonder those cans have smelled so bad! i always think it's the bathtime diapers! this time, he peed in them while they were empty, so now i know.
we made progress though....he admitted it was his, yet claimed it was an OOPS. THREE FEET??????
i remained calm, but told him he'll drink it next time i find it. was that wrong?
Yogi thought so. He is having him clean the bathroom each day before he throws his 80 pitches.
SOFTY.

HIV related rhetoric and hypo jargon, whatever that is

Jack went to Boston on June 25th, I just haven't blogged about the visit yet, well.. until now I mean.

So... let's see....he weighs 96 lbs. and is 5'2.5-officially taller than my Mom and my tiny 18 year old niece, Jenny. He's feeling pretty big!

His t cells continue to drop, his viral load continues to increase(both yucky, bad things to happen). The pheno testing had come back though, and it's the Combivir(combo of AZT and.. uh.. i forget. oh! Zidovudine i think) NOT the Viracept that he's building resistance to, so that was a surprise. Now they are doing some geno testing to get more specific results, have a team meeting and come up with a whole new protocol for him, which he will begin in late August. Viracept is coming off the market anyway, so this meds change will be pretty significant. All this will happen right before school starts, so i am mentally preparing myself for quite the perverbial ass whooping smack down on my part, as far as his behavior and mindset are concerned. He also will come down with hives, I know it.

BRING IT lol.

Dr. P has been prescribing Jack's Concerta for a few years, but doesn't feel it's his area of expertise. Since Jack doesn't see a shrink, Dr. P set him up with a neoro guy right there at Boston Medical Center to take over his care in that area. FINE! But no more shrinks. ( a long, opinionated, heated, hate-mail inducing, full-of-malarky post for another day!)

Hmmm... what else?

Oh yah- We re instated my Sam's Club membership yesterday. Uncuh Tim LOVED Sam's Club. It was about all his heart could take. he LOVES shopping and bargain hunting. He was like a 5 year old. The free lemonade samples was the best part, i think. ...And the huge, flat screen TV's. I WANT ONE!. they actually had a very cool home-school book section. odd. It was fun to get out of the house, away from Toy Story, my naughty dog, the phone, the laundry... all of it.

STILL RAINING.

Took a long walk in the rain with Yogi last night. Since we even sleep with a kid, we have no other time alone, to talk without everyone around. It was great to re-connect. we are trying to come up with a plan to get away for a weekend, sans kids, in August. We talked about everything. It was a happy 45 minutes with lots of hills. He's working in Boston this week and next, so he's out the door at 4 or 4:30am, and not home until 5pm or later, traffic is insane. It's been a long week for him. We talked about our lack of alone time, he suggested that we walk together every night. Um.. i invite him every night, but he always stays behind to read! He says he will join me from now on. We've both cut WAY back on our sugar & bread intake and bumped way up on the fruits and veggies for the last 6 weeks or so. i am down 10-12 lbs, Yogi, who was already at a perfect weight but has a belly, has all but lost his belly completely. jerk lol. I trudge on.

Kendyl will be in the parade with her pre-school tomorrow! She is PUMPED.

Headed to Kitty & Stephen's house after the parade for a party. Weather? no idea.

Yogi leaves Boston at noon today, but then will go do his volunteer work for our local town orchestra(they have a big free holiday concert at the park tonight) well into the evening, so he won't be around. Hoping he will be blessed with good weather atleast.

Looking forward to a fun family weekend!

have a great 4th! my favorite holiday, by far!

just keep swimming, just keep swimming......

STILL RAINING. i told my friend Stephen that he couldnt find a picture of a fish taking a walk. he did. that's how bored we are.

RAD, Rain & Related Rantings

10pm 06/30

Some days are easy, relatively speaking. Other days are so, so, so hard. It’s often 2 steps forward, 8 steps back with our RADical son. Difficult days can begin so innocently. Today was no exception. I only went to his bedroom to be sweet. Super, uber sweet. I bought a new plastic mattress cover and needed to put it on, the other one had a rip, and I even went all out and made his bed up all nice for him, ya know.. just to be sweet. (He tends to just throw a blanket over the plastic and lay down, within hours he’s asleep on the plastic in a puddle of urine. He‘s very, very lazy that way… Ok…in every way LOL) Anyway, I wish I had taken pictures of what I found. I will be a copy cat and use my friend Tara’s “bullet point” method of reporting….Bring you all up to speed, so to speak.

* 2 Boston Market takeout containers, filled with mold, in closet #1

* 4 pear/apple cores on carpet

* 2 banana peels on book shelf

* several chunks of orange rind, enough for about 4 oranges, spread throughout the room and in between pages of books

* 7 fruit snack packages

* 11 granola bar wrappers

* 43 urine soaked clothing items in closet #2.

* The Red Sox “David Ortiz” team jersey Doug has been very vocal about searching for for the last 3 months, underneath all the urine-soaked clothing in closet #2

* 4 brand new pair of Doug’s jeans, 3 of them flannel lined, 3 purchased by yours truly, 1 pair that Doug bought for himself, all completely shredded with scissors.

* 3 “missing” DVDs

* 2 I pod shuffles, of unknown origin. 1 turned out to be Kristin’s, stolen from her bedroom 13 mos. ago.

* 3 notebooks, swimming in urine. Poor, poor, innocent closet #2.

* 2 disposable razors

* MY nail clippers

* 2 pair of scissors

* can of neon blue spray paint, hidden behind the bed, sprayed on carpet and wall behind the bed. Also sprayed all over a childhood stuffed animal of Doug’s, which was also hidden behind the bed and destroyed.

* 1 box of pencils, every single one broken in half.

* various wall chargers, no idea what they charge or who they belong to.

* drawings I can’t even talk about

* 2 town league basketball jerseys he promised me he had given back to his coach

* Jay's favorite ScarFace T shirt-had been missing all through the winter and early spring.

* Kristin brought home a crate of expired, 20oz. Bottles of Soda from her job at Dominos Pizza. I found 5 of them up there, hidden all over. So… drink 20 oz. of pop in the middle of the night when you’re a bed wetter. Self help plan? Great.
The spray paint threw me over the edge. I was calm until I saw that mess. I went down to the kitchen and pitched a huge cutting board at the air conditioner and broke the damn thing. I also threw a tea kettle out the door. I burst into tears. Then I felt better. Did I mention it’s still raining? I’m also typing this post in Microsoft word and saving it to put in my blog when I get my internet back. Yup. No phone. No internet. Crapped out at 840 this morning. Phone company *might* fix it tomorrow, they *might not*. I am in such a bad mood! Uncle Tim is helping me.. Oh, who the hell am I kidding? He’s pretty much doing it all… get through the 20 loads of laundry we pulled out of Jackson’s room. Can you say UREA?????????? Oh, Dear Lord, the SMELL! I need a serious vacation, but I will never get one. 20 years is a long time. I’m just sayin'.

update: 7/1/09 3:30pm

internet restored.

STILL RAINING.

# of times we have watched Toy story 2 in the last week: 21

# of laundry loads out of jacksons room yesterday: 9

# of boredom induced dog fights: 2

# of calls to Verizon/Fairpoint about internet loss: 7

# of swear words used -by me-in last 24-48 hours: 14

# of MJ songs i have listened to since he died: 66

# of times i have indulged in emotional eating during this time of.. um...unrest: 3(go me!)

# of hours of enjoyment brought forth by the mail today-a HUGE box of miscellaneous Toy Story action figures & vehicles i won from EBAY for 22$(SCORE!!!): 5 so far!(another GO ME)

# of times i have been asked "what did you do to your hair????" since going blonde: 41

# of extra showers i have taken as of late, just to get away from all these people and animals and noise: 10

# of times i have begged God to stop the rain-just for 2 days-: 4

# of times i have dreamed about sunshine: 2

# of times my foster dog has peed in the house to avoid the rain: 4

# of times i have wanted my foster dog to run away: 7 ok.. 9. but i love her.

# of unsettling dreams i had last night: 3

# of hugs I've needed-and gotten- yesterday and today: 11 and counting

# of times i have told myself, "do not give up. nobody ever told you this would be a walk in the park, Biotch! Girlfriend! in the last 2 days: 460

460 times should be enough. right?

starting over, moving past & letting go....

ali... OUT.