ORLANDO, BABY!!!!

my bed

we table danced

we hung out with belly dancers

we played with napkins

we went swimming and soaking

we laughed. in our PJ's. A LOT!

did I mention the napkins?

our group- minus 3 who were in another car :(

we ran in hot weather-just for fun

we represented New England

I don't even know where to start, for starters. Well, whaddaya know? i already sound stupid! GAH! Ok, seriously though....I was terrified at first. I had only met a tiny handful of the Moms who I'd be drinkingstaying with-and by handful, i mean the kind of handful they're talking about when they say, "you can eat a handful of these cocoa dusted almonds as a healthy, protein enriched, post-run snack." That kind of handful, incase you are not up to speed with that sort of thing, is about 7 almonds in total. And that kind of handful leaves me feeling pretty empty. Several (ok.. a handful) of Moms pushed me to go anyway, even as the number of women attending climbed and climbed as the weeks leading up to the retreat shrunk and shrunk. I knew the trip would be so beneficial to me and I even felt like I might have something to offer in the whole thing-although I, to this day, couldn't specify exactly what that would be. I bit the bullet and booked myself a slot in what would turn out to be, what my kids would call, EPIC. Truth? I hardly left my villa. I hardly mingled. I hardly traveled. I hardly participated, in the great scheme of things. I enjoyed every.single.second of it. I was downright lazy. I observed, took photos of other Moms, floated in our heated pool, enjoyed the warm weather(i hated being indoors for even 5 minutes!), ran a few miles, read magazines i had overpaid for at the airport in Baltimore, made a total mess of my room(sorry M4M!), barely cleaned up, didn't change the toilet paper roll(sorry Rose!)ignored my greasy hair, ate too much, ate too much, ate waaaay too much.... uh...you get the idea. I met some wonderful women. Women who have had their teeth knocked out, their eyes blackened, their chins scarred, their hearts broken, their self esteem flattened, their needs ignored, their marriages tested, their families destroyed, their homes lit on fire-all by their RAD/previously traumatized & neglected, TERRIFIED children.. yet, still just keep on keepin' on and even reach out to help others who walk in their shoes. A term I heard repeatedly over the weekend was ROCK STAR. I couldn't agree more. I met some strong(and some so young!) Moms. All of them who foster, adopt or in one way or another raise children who don't/didn't love them back. I was hugged, recognized(so weird and surreal!) and hugged again by complete strangers who treated me like they'd known me all my life, and I tried -which wasn't hard to do-to treat them the same way. I learned alot about "The system". I also learned that my life IS NOT HARD, which, I must admit, I already knew. So many have it so much tougher. Jack is healing. I am healing. He is, what they refer to in the RAD parenting jargon world, as regulated most of the time. My family is safe and intact. I work from home. I have a fantastic spouse who loves to cook, clean, help and be Dad/mentor/taxi/scapegoat/fixer of all broken stuff. NOPE-I didn't dance on the table at the greek restaurant, I didn't go to Downtown Disney, I didn't touch a single drop of alcohol, I somehow missed the trip to the tattoo parlor.. but it's all good. I LIVED. i absolutely LOVE my housemates. I met "Rocky" 's Mom(she's not a celeb to me, she's just my son's orphanage friend's Mom, and he needed a Mom like her to save his heart, so I love her) I met some other special people, and they know who they are, and i slept a bit. I slept next to an open window too. i know, right?????? It made my year, and I cannot wait to go back and do it all over again-and more. I might even booze it up get dressed next time! Thank you, Corey. It was perfect in every way possible. You did it! YOU ROCK. Rest easy, my friend.