baby Kendyl

almost 18 months, playing on Kristin's bed (her favorite place at that age!)



see above! :)



almost 18 months, eating cookies



almost 15 months, playing in the driveway



almost 15 months, eating veggies! This is Kristin's FAVORITE photo of Kendyl!!



first Halloween-9 mos.

19 mos

6 mos. old

7 mos. look how beautiful "Eeshy"(her doll) looked back then! she was already so attached to her. she looks sooooooo bad now.

Sometimes curious people -who don't have any children through adoption- will ask me if our love for Kendyl is deeper because she's "ours". She's the only one of the 5 who is a fruit of our union so to speak. Is it neat & cool to see ourselves in her face or see the unique blend of the 2 of us she is? Absolutely. Seeing Yogi's nose and short limbs on the ultrasounds was funny. Her ears stick out just like his too and she has that chubby bottom lip and his big eyes. She has my curvy pinky toe, blonde hair, goofy looking belly button and dimples. She's sensitive, sarcastic and quick witted like me, mellow, loyal and kind like him, and shares his strong self esteem. Was it a wonderful, fun surprise after 10 years of marriage? Without a doubt. I had completely let go of the dream of being able to share a full term pregnancy or birth experience with him, yet it finally happened, out of the blue. Blessed beyond belief, we are.

BUT all the other kids' entrances into our lives were really amazing too. Watching him fall totally head-over-heels for Kristin when they met (she was 14 mos. old) was such a gift. He rented an apartment above the house we were renting and he was the best uncle a kid could ask for. She was such a clever, verbal, funny baby... so easy to love. Once Doug was born 6 mos. later, Yogi would come downstairs and rock him to sleep & put him in his crib at night so I could get some extra rest. A year later, when my marriage ended, he was the best friend in the world. 2 years after that WE were married, and after several miscarriages, 2 ectopic pregnancies, 3 surgeries & a world of YUCK we adopted Jackson and that was the coolest, hardest thing we've ever done. We will never forget that experience and what it, and Jackson, has brought to our lives. So rewarding.

The minute Yogi saw Shawn & I come off that airplane when he was 12 days old, that was it: he was his son. Adopting domestically was a really amazing experience. Exciting, trying, lots of anticipation & so many 'what ifs'. .. yet, so joyful and such a gift. When I stay up too late, I always find Daddy & Shawny curled up together in our bed when I finally go upstairs. They are truly father & son in every sense of the word. We wouldn't trade any of our kids for anything in the world and cannot imagine any of the 5 not being with us.

If you're thinking about adopting, and you wonder if you will love an adopted child as much as you would/do love a/your home made child, don't let that rent space in your head anymore. It all modge podges together after a while and you forget who's adopted and who isn't!