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Wednesday, June 2, 2010

41

As my 41st Birthday quickly approaches, I'm reminded of my last Birthday. My husband, daughter and friends threw me a surprise 40th bash, it was amazing and fun and made me feel loved and appreciated. Then it was over, and life went on. I watched it go by, mostly. I weighed 242 lbs., was tired, un motivated to change it and upset about some things going on in my personal life. Another 5 mos. went by before I woke up one morning & just couldn't stand one more minute of the mental and emotional stress I was feeling. I dusted off my treadmill, found some shoes in the closet and changed my whole outlook in one day.

26 weeks later I'm stronger, leaner and in a better frame of mind than I have been in years. I weigh 185 lbs, (about 30 to go!)have lowered my cholesterol, my body fat percentage is down by about 20%, I never get heartburn anymore, I sleep great, I've learned a bit about nutrition, I can't shop at Lane Bryant anymore... well, i still love their bras! , my knees hardly ever ache anymore, not even when i climb the 2 flights of stairs to leave the YMCA after a gruelling workout. when I wake up in the morning, my ankles don't hurt when i first get out of bed. I make time for myself every single day, i plan my meals better, plan my time better, appreciate myself so much more......the list goes on and on. Life just feels different, even though I'm still what I refer to as "tubby". No surgeries, no pills, no supplements, no starving myself, no outrageous diets, no anti depressants or ADHD meds to kill the appetite-JUST ME and 6 days a week of hard ass work. I'm proud of that. Many people I know are losing weight faster than I am, but I try to stay in my own lane and focus on my own journey. I've learned a lot, so far. Not like it's anywhere near over! Keeping it off is the hardest part and my goal is still so far away. I'm taking my time and trying to enjoy the process.

Yogi runs and cycles with me now. He has progressed so quickly. I mostly run outdoors now, a huge accomplishment for me, a big goal. He now runs faster than I do, but I beat him on the bike every time. We are running a wimpy 5k together, on July 4th, just for fun, and a 25K in September, for our favorite Haitian charity, we hope. He's such a driven person, He will cruise right by me pretty soon. Not sure how I feel about that. I taught him to play Scrabble once too. Then it got ugly. I don't play Scrabble with him anymore. We will take it one day at a time, but he is so enjoying this. I am too! I dragged him out to buy some new running clothes last night, he needed everything. It was time for some stay-dry fabrics. YUCK. he'll be 47 this week, right before i turn 41. TALK ABOUT CAKE. Proper planning is in order! GOD, we both love us some frikking cake. OY.

Some really shitty things have happened lately too, but I'm not letting any of it get me down. I have to live life for ME and the people behind these 4 walls and let everyone else live their lives their own way. I know who I am and what I'm about. People can think what they want about my character, believe what they choose, but I know, and that's all that matters. My memory is excellent. I've moved on and I can live with it, whatever the outcome. People come and go, in life, and it's all good with me. I have a great marriage and family, wonderful, SOLID friendships... time to let it all go. I can't let it rent the space in my head anymore- NO VACANCY!!

Anyway, Wanna know the coolest thing?

I FIT IN A VOLKSWAGON BUG and I'm going to buy one!

life is great :)
thanks for listening.

1 comment:

Kristin said...

i love you, momma!