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Saturday, March 14, 2009

discrimination

well.... it finally happened after 5.5 years. talk about a slap in the face.
there is special needs 5th grade boy, a year behind jackson, at the bus stop and of course, on the bus. a few years ago jack needled him a bit(called him robert when he knows he likes to be called robby, this caused the kid to wig out, which jack knew he would) the mom came to my door really angry, i invited her in and we talked. she was surprised i was white and i filled her in about jacksons life. she seemed understanding and told me her son had "a speech impediment".
then i heard so many people in town-and not because i asked-that he's way more special needs than a speech issue and that the parents were in denial and would accept NO services for him whatsoever-not even an IEP. they also will not allow him to be picked up at the house or ride a different bus with his peers, but are upset when he comes home with tales. i talked to jackson and tried to explain that he needed his support-not teasing. unfortunately, in Haiti even adults point and tease anybody with any physical difference. we try very hard, but you can only change a person so much. the bus driver and the lady that lives at the bus stop location have both told me that jack has been very nice to this kid. he's damned if he does and damned if he doesnt, it seems.
so...no issues until this past month or 2. apparently there was some light teasing, jack & Kye told the kid he was immature when he was eating valentine candy at the bus stop, another kid is in on it too. they ask him questions because he asks 100 questions, they know he likes to ask them but hates answering them, so they drive him nuts. the kid finally physically attacked jackson a few weeks ago, a neighbor mom pulled him off, and then the kid refused to exit the bus at school and 3 adults had to come out and remove him. i only know this because the bus driver's daughter goes to kendyls school and we chat. she states that jackson is NOT the problem, its just that robby only mentions HIS name. i told him that i want him to not speak to the kid AT ALL. JUST STOP TALKING. i expected the mom at my door but she never came(which was a very smart decision for her)
now she's all angry that jack ignores her son. he goes home bawling that the "Ni##er kid" won't talk to him. the bus coordinator guy(who has known me since i was 2 and was my neighbor my whole childhood) called me out of the blue on Monday to tell me she is upset about her kid not being spoken to( i hadnt heard a thing) and a big meeting happened on friday without my knowledge and that "they" have decided to move jackson to another bus stop-alone- and leave the other 3 boys at the corner. he was calling just to "fill me in and get my quick approval".
um...... are you smoking funny cigarettes mr. dumont????????????
i absolutely flipped out(quietly). he kept saying there was another issue, but that he couldn't tell me what her big issue is because it violates HER PRIVACY. confidentiality rules. he kept using the word privacy and all of a sudden it clicked. i said "wait... is this an HIV thing???"
he answered "you said it, i didn't. i didn't tell you, you figured it out."
apparently she is afraid of another physical confrontation and that her son will contract HIV. i heard he bites, but i have no way of knowing if thats true, not that it matters anyway. so they had a meeting and to "make this unstable woman go away" (his words)they thought they'd move jacky to a bus stop 500 feet away, where he'd be able to WATCH everybody play football without him. PROBLEM SOLVED huh???????
i told him OVER MY DEAD BODY. after talking to me for a bit we were disconnected(Shawn unplugged us LOLOL) and when he called back i told him he may want to educate himself and his committee, and then fill this woman in, about school policy and state law. he said "i just did and we cant do anything that she wants us to." GEE! REALLY????? he really seemed to think about things and realized i was right. i asked him if he would EVER let this happen to his NOT physically aggressive kid and he said NO WAY. don't get me wrong, if jack was hitting kids i would be thrilled with this idea. i'd welcome it! the fact is, hes right. this would make the whole thing "go away" but its just not right. isolating him isnt fair. Kye makes fun of the kid constantly and admits it, yet hes not being threatened. hes white and HIV negative.
he wanted me to come in and meet with the other mom. i stamped my feet and whined, "i knew you were gonna ask me to do thaaaaaaaaat" but then accepted. she accepted, but then refused a few hours later, after we had it all set up.

my favorite part was when jack came home from school, he reported that the driver had told him "your mom is moving your bus stop as of wed." (i am???)so not only did they meet without consulting me and make a decision, but they notified the driver!!!! i called and left him a message, he called me back thismorning and apologized for jumping the gun.
he also stated that he did some researching online last night and "you were right. theres just NO risk!" um.... why didn't you do the research BEFORE you decided to let this woman run the place???????
and to think NH has the highest IQ & SAT scores in the country. THAT SCARES ME.
DUH

6 comments:

Leslie said...

I'm so sorry, Ali. I know you will set them straight!

Brenda said...

Oh my goodness. I'm glad he has you there for him. This might be a real bonding thing for him Ali! He will see you are on his side and will fight for him publicly.

Alyssa's Mom said...

You go girl!

Alyssa's Mom said...

I awarded you the Lemonade Award!

Mike and Katie said...

It so sad that fear and ignorance still rule some peoples lives.

You're a good mom.

katie

Mike and Katie said...

Is that hypothetical son a wanted man?