sometimes blogging is hard. finding the time, for starters. some days i feel negative or whiney so i dont want to share. nobody wants to read a whiney, complainers blog day after day after day, right?(i have a few on my list that i read regularly, and i'm tempted to delete them) other times, i have so many thoughts swimming in my head that i have trouble even sorting it all out enough to get a complete thought on paper. today is one of those days, due to recent events and because i havent updated in so long. i also dont want every post to be some family update. here goes:
my oldest is 20 this week. holy crap. she is the most awesome kid in the whole wide world. 102 lbs of hell if you mess with her too. one tough cookie. smart as a whip. beautiful. loving to those who make her feel good inside, but if you wrong her or hurt her she will burn that bridge in 2 seconds and NEVER look back, family or not. wish i was that strong. OY. the kid is so goal oriented too. i love that about her. her boyfriend of 3 years is absolutely terrified of her and i think its hilarious LOL
shawn only weighed 20 lbs at his 20 month visit. 4th %ile again. ho hum.
jackson is grounded for stealing CD's from his pseudo brothers. after 5.5 years, he still thinks anything he can touch is for him. why is he not with it enough to put them back when hes done? why does he want to get caught? why does he still sabotage everything?
RAD sucks. have i mentioned that lately????? they never learn from past mistakes, they just make the same ones and over again.
truck shopping continues. after today, without an extension, we have to cover the rental, even though we just got the money from Allstate on thursday. thats TWO days to search for, find, test drive, purchase and drive away a vehicle. gotta love insurance companies full of excuses. we think we found one, not a crew cab like we wanted, but it has a snow plow. crucial. making an offer today.
i never talk about my work in my blog, its a rule i set for myself from the very beginning. but let me just say, the vocation i am ......involved in.... deals in affairs of the heart and sometimes that is a very emotional & stressful thing. i'm feelin' it. enough said.
Yogi's buddy Tim has now lived with us full time for 5 weeks. at times i love that hes here. i love the company(he isnt working yet) and the help he offers me with kids, shopping, cooking and laundry. at times i want him to go away and stop asking me questions and reminding me of things i need to do. i wanna just.... BE. know what i mean? he's also quite the drinker, but a happy drunk so i dont say anything. by the time hes good & sloshed the kids are all asleep. they have no idea.(the 3 young ones anyway).
the mom of that boy jackson teased last month (and in sept.) finally agreed to a 30 minute meeting. for what? i dont know. she came in ranting and raving & holding a detailed notebook of documentation of any word ever spoken to her son.. called my son a monster 5 times and her son a victim 9 times. i counted. she wanted to discuss jackson teasing her son in 2005. they told her to they were not interested in what happened 4 years ago. i stayed quiet mostly, but tried to convey that jackson is no more "typical" than her son.(she claims her son is "cured") i brought up some private things in attempt to let her see how immature and challenged my son is. i dont want anyone to pity jackson, but i also felt she(and others at the meeting) needed to know that he is 3-6 years old in many ways, not a typical 6th grader teasing a special needs 5th grader. i didnt use a bunch of RAD hang terms but mentioned abuse, neglect, abandonment and starvation. hes NOT a regular kid just being mean. i asked her to try to see us as the people working hard to heal him, fix him, change him, help him mature instead of the people RESPONSIBLE for who and what he is. he still hasnt been here as long as he was there, and this all takes time. we didnt make him this way. our other kids arent bullies. doug has his issues with peers, but was never a bully.
anyway, the admin. made it clear that nobody is going to isolate anybody over a VERBAL exchange at a bus stop and she will not be getting her way. she claims she is going to sue the district for CHILD ENDANGERMENT. she never brought up the HIV thing, but i touched on it and when i told everyone at the table that there was NO RISK she mentioned jackson taking part in a spit ball incident on the bus in 2006. i told her "again, NO RISK. READ A BOOK WITH WORDS IN IT, DOTTIE!" that was the only time i was rude or fired up. sorry, but shes ignorant. the bus guy chuckled under his breath, which made everyone laugh except her. she walked out so pissed off. she is used to bullying admin. to get what she wants, but wont let her son have an IEP. i really tried. i'm not good at bible verses, but i read one the other day about meeting evil with kindness or some stuff like that. help me out leslie lol. so i did that. we all talked after she left and they think shes a fruit loop, pretty much. they set up a plan to have the 2 boys meet with staff every week to talk about respect, ways to get along with people who are different than you, give them tools to help them deal with things like this... and all that crap. not enough for her. she made it very clear that she will call police every time jack speaks to her son(which he no longer does, but her son approaches jackson constantly, which the principal says needs to stop. the kid cant help it though, i dont think.) when she stated that i wanted to ask her, ARE YOU THREATENING ME????? but i shut my mouth.
i am also giving jackson his Concerta earlier in the morning, so it will be helping him with impulse control at the bus stop and on the bus, instead of just at school. she LAUGHED when i mentioned this. screw her.
i will NEVER speak to her again. she acted mean, judgemental & nasty. my committment is to my son, not her.
i often think about all my kids, even the 2 extras(ben & jay) and how they came to us and i still have no regrets. i love them all for who they are, even though i get frustrated and angry. i miss doug & ben so much. theyll both be home by april 30th. jay leaves april 1st. i love being their mom. doug is calling me now!
more drivel later.......................................and pics!