We met with the prosecutor yesterday, so we'd feel prepared for court today. She told us that she'd taken Jackson's file home for the weekend, his lawyer had too, and the 2 lawyers met on Monday. She stated that his case was "keeping them both up at night". They were on the same page, as far as what Jackson really needed, and since he is not eligible for the CHINS petition, the only way to go was to talk him into pleading TRUE to one of the offenses, so he could stay at NCH and get the services he needs, and avoid a trial. (We found out later that his lawyer met with him yesterday and he agreed, mostly to avoid testifying or hearing/seeing me testify.) We left the prosecutor's office feeling heard. We were able to fill her in about prior events, how we parent, our backgrounds in foster care, where we wanted to go from here .. all that stuff. I felt okay.
We went back to court today. We were told that Jackson had agreed to plead true, we met with Jackson and his therapist, Jackson was shy but pleasant. He was dressed like a thug ass hood rat and his Afro looked like a rabid racoon's nest, but.. whatever. He doesn't like taking care of it, but hates having it short. I always did that for him.
At that point, Jackson met with his lawyer and signed everything. She brought the paperwork out to the lobby to us to sign, but not before making the fateful error of letting the following
"I must be honest, here, and admit that, as his attorney, My moral compass is causing me to have difficulty allowing such a kind young man to plead guilty to making threats that he would never really follow through with. He was just a typical teenager, angry and "spouting off".
WAIT FOR IIIIIIIIT.........
"Well, Ma'am, I must be honest with you as well, and remind you of the fact that you met our son a mere 2 weeks ago, have met with him thrice, total, and have no idea what you are talking about right now. You also might want to touch base with the 5 therapists who have treated him in the past 9 years who completely disagree with your opinion and will attest to his unstable mental state. I'm happy to sign a release of information authorization form for you. You also might want to eat a big giant slab of SHUT THE FUCK UP cake. Ok, Ok, I held onto that last part. Yogi was looking at me with his PLEASE DON'T TELL ANYBODY TO GO FUCK THEMSELVES TODAY, BABY! face. The man suffocates me, I swear.
Before she could so much as respond with a, "Whaaaaa?" Yogi took me firmly by the hand, and
Jackson lay his head on the table and slept, while my adorable husband -who always has my back- chatted with Big Jim and me about the weather, the ever rising price of petroleum based roofing shingles and everything in between, while
We entered the court room, Judge KingKone smiled at us and the proceedings went as smoothly as possible. NCH had sent the judge a report of Jackson's behavior and progress at their facility, I had received one as well. They conveniently omitted the midnight ear piercing party, the pot and cig smoking, the refusal to do any chores whatsoever, his resistance to therapy, his extremely overly sexual nature etc. etc.. but he referred to it repeatedly and kept mentioning the glowing report he'd received. Yogi held my hand firmly while I tried not to
In 13 weeks at NCH, Jackson has behaved and slept well. That's it. Hardly any therapy, only 2 home visits, only 2 family therapy sessions, no new diagnosis, no medications have been prescribed, no meeting with psych MD to even begin that process... nothing. What progress are they speaking of? He hasn't physically assaulted anyone and won a recent urban dance contest, so... He's HEALED? I find this
When I'm found dead, or Jackson is inadvertently killed or wounded by my husband or myself during an altercation, everyone will say,
"I wish we'd known."
"Could we have done more?"
Sounds like mere drama, but I know better.
I'm his Mom.