I've been doin' this job since I was 19 yee-uhs old. I'm no newbie. There are days I feel like I've got it together. By together, I mean that everyone is happy, contributing, getting along... GELLED. Things are organized. no big surprises. there are also days I feel like I'm drowning in a murky sea of starving, under water zombies. (ever heard of 'em? GOOGLE it! just kidding.) This last week or so? ZOMBIE CITY. These kids have run up one side O me and down the other to the point where I'm either waking up in a pool of sweat & dry heaves with anxiety riddled nightmares, suffering total insomnia altogether, or i find myself completely removing myself from life, not answering my phone, seeing NOBODY outside these 4 walls and isolating myself in my bedroom, armed only with a bucket of kettle corn, my music, my laptop and an intense case of Screw It All disease. If there was a treadmill in there, I'd never come out at all. Thankfully, those times are few & far between(kinda) and I end up back in -it- to -win -it within a few days. right now? HARD.
DISCLAIMER: I am about to bitch, moan & whine. I might even UglyFaceCry a little bit. log out if you don't wanna hear it!
* the honeymoon is SOOOOOOOOOOO over. nobody is helping or contributing. I cook alone, fold clothes alone, clean house alone and just DO.IT.ALL. begging gets old.
* Doug, in particular, is hateful, scornful, negative, vengeful, EXPLOSIVE and downright ugly to be around. Between his 3rd shift hours, not being allowed to drive, being away from Kayleigh and being broke(and owing EVERYBODY money!), he is just.no.fun.at.all. why type out the details? waste of time and energy.
* Kristin is not the least bit excited about the car. She's so used to things being ruined by her siblings & pseudo siblings, she just refuses to let her guard down and be happy about a free car. She puts up HUGE HUGE walls. I give up. We went up to UNH to see her yesterday, we took her out to dinner for her Birthday, which was great. I guess I just won't bring up the car in conversation anymore. On a happy note-she wrote an INCREDIBLE short story for a class, I wish you could read it! hmmmm let me work on that! She can e mail it to me. I can cut & paste, I'm amazing like that.
* Jackson did not want to go to UNH with us. he wanted to sit home alone and forage through our things all day. So...... he made the entire visit as uncomfortable and RAD sprinkled as possible. we ignored. we smiled. RAD did not win. how can a Haitian teenager not be thrilled with Cajun shrimp dinner?
jackass. I'm lettin' him have that one. Today, after school, when he was #regulated# and coming off a good time with his friends, I asked him why he'd been so hell bent on ruining the entire day -for everyone-yesterday. I got the proverbial "I dunno" with the standard over exaggerated shrug and teen angst eye roll. I told him that's the only one he gets for the month. he said OK. Movin' on.
*I hate the IRS.
* Never trust an 8 month old puppy to behave in your absence.
* never trust men in their early 20's to put a puppy in a crate when they leave the house-even if they promised.
* my truck clearly needs work
* Yogi's truck-Stella the roofing truck- clearly needs work
* the new car clearly needs a tiny bit of work
* the IRS needs work
* Shawn Alan is still not feeling well. he needs some work lol(prednisone!)
* a puke virus hit Kendyl & me. Kendyl was the sicker one.
* while still recovering from the pukes, Kendyl slipped on a snowbank(yup! we still have 'em! wanna talk about it? didn't think so.) and landed VERY HARD on her rear end, bruising her tailbone. This was on Saturday and she's still pretty miserable. She went to school today and sat on the cushy chair usually sat in by the student picked for "Star Of The Week". Somebody got hosed lol
* Did i mention how badly the IRS sucks?
* I miss J.G.R. I wanna go to Texas to hang with my favorite girl. Too bad the IRS has their head so far up it's a&%@#$)*$%&^$@##!!!!!!
* I'd love a vacation. Just Yogi & Me. SOMEDAY!
ok, whine fest over. Back to Glass-half-full Me. Ready.......GO.