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Monday, September 12, 2011

catch up bullet post

july 2011
Aug. 2011
i can't promise this will be in any kind of order, sorry.
* all the people who pissed me off in April moved out the day after the pot pipe was found. I haven't spoken to any of them since. It's just the 2 of us, and 4 kids now.
* Kristin graduated at UNH with highest honors in May, spent the summer working, Evan was here for most of the summer too. He worked for Yogi for 6 weeks before going on a backpacking trip with friends through Costa Rica, then returning here for just one day. On August 14th, they packed up the Jetta we bought and moved to California. Kris is working at a Domino's Pizza "for the meanest boss she's ever met her life" and going to school in Chico CA.. She has her own place. She's broke but very, very happy. For me, it's just really weird not knowing when I'm going to see her again. She has traveled often, but I always knew WHEN....
* Shawn Alan turned 4 in July, we had a very small party, none of the neighborhood kids were in town, we picked the wrong weekend! But he had fun, My parents both came, which was nice. They only made it because my Mom's back surgery was pushed ahead a few days-it had been scheduled for Shawn's birthday.
* My mom had risky back surgery on July 26th. I say risky because operating on a cardiac patient is never easy. The first 3 days post-op went well, then they sent her over to the re-hab and it all went to hell pretty fast. long story short, they thinned her blood too much, she was bleeding out, then they thickened her blood too much and she ended up with pulmonary clots. She spent a month in the hospital, much of that time in ICU, completely unaware of anything going on. She finally came home and is recovering slowly and is in good spirits, mostly.
* Yogi took a week off in August, the last day being the day Kris left. He hadn't taken time off since Christmas of 2006. I want to lie, and report that the "staycation" was an amazing thrill that none of us will never forget. Truthfully, it was just "ok". there was too much to do, we picked the wrong week. Mom was in ICU the entire time and My sister and I were tag teaming my Mother's dog. Kristin's car needed work, there was so much to do before she left-mostly stuff she needed to do, she's pretty independent, but still. insurance issues, Jack's football paperwork, health forms for football, so much administrative crap.... we ended up spending one nice day at one beach, a rainy evening, an overnight and then a sunny day at a beach in ME. and 3 hours at Water country another day. That was pretty much it. I think we had some take-out and some ice cream cones. we might have seen a movie. I think we did. eh. I GIVE UP. I bought a beautiful new bathing suit though, which avoided repeats of some prior frightening wardrobe malfunctions.
* The plan was to move Jackson into Kristin's room after she moved away. We would take his room and turn it into an office. her room is larger, has a huge closet with shelving, has mirrored closet doors and a full size bed! he had well over 3 months to clean, purge, pack and organize his tiny bedroom for this move. He had a detailed list, written at his his level for reading and development, to assist him with his plan. There was much discussion. he seemed excited, but not motivated. i made it clear that we weren't just packing up and moving a huge trash bag full of junk from one room to another. He would be boxing up clothing and things he didn't want, throwing trash away etc..... MOVE DAY approached. I told him that whichever room was cleaner would be the office for Crawford & Sons Roofing. No more table by the dryer. We'd take either room, no pressure. He did NOTHING. MOVE DAY arrived. He started filling trash bags with clean clothing, dirty clothes, garbage, books and banana peels. i vacuumed Kristin's room, moved the bed away from the wall, (why she parks it there, I have no idea LOL)washed and dried the bedding, covered mattress with plastic sheet, Made the bed, mopped her floor, packed ONE box with almost everything she left behind, moved some things into the basement, moved extra furniture out, hung a Haitian painting and...... WAITED. It looked great in there. perfect teen guy bedroom. "jack! Come see!" I WANTED him to WANT IT bad enough. turn key! move in condition! look how HUGE it is! Look, you can DANCE!! i tried EVERYTHING. He entered, he looked, he danced and checked his look in the cool mirror. He smiled. he packed another trash bag. at 2pm, after he ate lunch, roamed around, goofed off, went off task 311 times...... I went into his room, and I made it clear that he wasn't doing what was asked, but still helped him move some furniture out to the yard(stuff that wouldn't be used in either room, regardless-which was all i was willing to do) my thought was, get stuff out of the kids way, move anything you can to give him space to work and clear his thoughts, without hand holding. At that point, he declared that it was all too hard, would take too long and he was "all done". sporadic, fake effort from 9-2 LOL. WOW. NOTHING is EVER worth it to him. Of course, his PLAN B, to squeeze her bed into his tiny room, was mentioned. NO WAY. I had already told him that wasn't happening, months ago. I was way ahead of him. i shrugged my shoulders, shook my head, and walked away. hey, some furniture he didn't need got moved out anyway. I was/am HONESTLY disappointed. i then took Kristin's bed apart, spent the next 24 hours moving our basement office up to her room and its AWESOME! We are so happy. It ticked him off, but i just said "see what EFFORT can do? this room could be ALL YOURS!" and left it at that. It may seem harsh, but his boss at work isn't going to say "eh, I'll just do it for you, baby." I realize that he may not have been capable of the entire process, start to finish, but i would have jumped in at the end if i saw ONE BIT of effort on his part. EVERYONE knows that. He was testing me, to see if I'd really do what I did, I think. He's just so low functioning -although it seems SO SELECTIVE-and we really think there's some Fetal Alcohol factoring in here, Ive been doing LOTS of research. That's a post for another day, but malnutrition and HIV are just the tip of his developmental ice burg. Anyway, having a real office, free of spiders, each with our own workspace, has been a huge blessing. family files, client files, all organized with a system in place. LOVE IT. I feel so much more at ease, now that things are being taken care of properly, everything at my fingertips. I'm really managing things now, business and personal, with sooo much less stress on a daily basis. SPACE is a good thing. Kristin cannot stand Jackson, he has used the older kids up, so badly, for 8 years, she simply has NO feelings for him whatsoever, so she's so psyched that we got "the big room". We actually do not need quite this much space and we hardly touched the closet, so Jack's room was big enough. Jack could have really used a bigger bed. siigghhhh.
* school finally started on Sept. 1st. Jackson is floating around, now in high school, anxious as ever, can't find his way around, teachers don't believe it half the time, I've had 2 meetings so far. He's having psych testing again to finally code him EH so he can receive more and better services. It's such a long story, but I really kick myself for not pushing harder for a 1 on 1 assistant, back in 1st grade, when he spoke no English, fell asleep at lunch, and peed in the hallways. why didn't they OFFER IT? I will talk more about that if I ever feel like it.
* Kendyl loves 1st grade and hasn't peed in any hallways :) Shawn Alan loves pre-K 4. No longer pooping his pants. HA!
* Yogi has re curring eczema. It's TERRIBLE and started with some bee stings. weird.
* electric fence is no match for the coon hound, another long story not worth telling. He's way too intelligent and active. DRIVEN. I take him running with me every night now that it's cooler, no excuses. he loves it but it's such a huge workout and a huge P.I.TA. run training takes time and patience I don't often possess LOL..... But he needs the outlet, and It makes me run, even if I've already worked out that day.
* Koty, the 7 year old lab, got a corn cob stuck in his intestines back in may. 3k to save his sorry arse. no lie. I'm on a payment plan but I never pay. Because of this, other dog still has testicles until Koty's bill is paid. I still owe about 1k. take a number.
Doug is doing well. He buckled down, got back on his Seroquell, takes it consistently, and is now (usually) a pleasure to be around. he had to face hard facts about himself. He NEEDS this drug. I don't care what anyone says, POT AINT ENOUGH. Without this prescription drug he cannot live with others or form or maintain real relationships. He becomes irrational, impossible to have a conversation with, dwells on the DISTANT past, spews venom... it's hard to describe. this generation of, "well, I like pot so I'll just self medicate with that!" is a load of BS. BUT, I know he's still doing that too. Baby steps.(and this is my biological child, so these things are hard for ME to accept too. My X husband has the same issues, after 4 years, he had to GO) He's working for Yogi full time, and living in the basement. He has friends. Ben is home from *BAND CAMP, so all is well.
* My Ben is home from *BAND CAMP!
* Shawn Alan's birth mom is home from *BAND CAMP too! we will go see her in early October :)
* I am doing great. Still working out. i run, row, lift weights, climb stairs and ride the bike almost every day. i still wear an 8-10, 36D(from a 44D at my fattest!) but i weigh about 5 lbs more, i think. I think i weigh about 165 or something. I have so much muscle it's not funny. My shoulders are immense. My legs are still fat, but lots of muscle hiding underneath! I've been lifting weights for 14 mos., running for 22 mos. i also LOVE rowing and cycling. I gave up swimming-HATED IT. faced it. moved on. I'm learning to play racquetball and hoping to learn more new things this year. I love managing our company, I am really strong, can do so many things I never thought i could/would and I'm really happy with myself, overall. Sometimes, EVERYTHING hurts or aches, sometimes nothing hurts, sometimes, areas hurt long term, but then suddenly heal and never hurt again.....but long term pain & injuries are part of it. when I was fat, everything hurt too! I use lots of ice, and I take so much Motrin, I'm waiting for my liver to fall out at a party.
"Oh my god! gross! what is THAT??"
"oh, sorry, that's my liver, oops. my bad."
* In closing......Summer is over, school is back in session, although I was in no hurry. I'm not like other Moms, I guess. But life is good. We are happy. Marriage is solid. (Damn, he's still so HOT to me! HA!)Can't complain! I just want to see the beach one more time. I've been hinting.
I will try to catch up on YOUR blogs now!

*WAR

4 comments:

Kathy C. said...

You seriously must have the patience of a saint!!! My RAD is now in the army and will probably do well because you don't have to bond with anyone, just survive. And he's very capable. Just has no clue what a real relationship looks like. I'm just scared some really nice girl is going to fall for him and get hurt.

scooping it up said...

Ali, what a great catch up! Can't wait to see you this week!

Erin said...

I am here. i have to get to work on my new one! Love you ali

stellarparenting.com said...

glad to catch up, have a great weekend!