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Saturday, March 12, 2011

The F Word


FAITH, that is.


FAITH was a topic of conversation over my Orlando weekend. In my villa alone, we had a practicing Mormon, 3 agnostics, a catholic, an atheist -or 2, 2 other deep Christians(for lack of a more appropriate term.. "evangelical"??) and i think we even had what some would call MODGE PODGE. Not that any of us seemed concerned, we all got along and had fun, but it made me wonder how it would have played out LONG TERM. Me? I label myself A Watered Down Christian. I happen to be someone who thinks non-Christians, complete non-believers, and believers of...well... whatever, can be fantastic parents. gay men and women, in my opinion, can be wonderful parents. I don't see good parenting as a One Size Fits All endeavor. That being said, I've certainly seen some extremes that I don't necessarily agree with, but all in all, I take a Live & Let Live stance on families. Call me a pacifist-go ahead. Call me a watered down pacifist-that's ok too. I have HUGE shoulders(don't believe me? i took pictures of them. back track and see!) I can take it. A distant family member recently sent out a *KoobFace message that took the stance of "no foster child should ever be placed in a home where the parents aren't uber Christian". That just DOES NOT sit right with me. I even had the urge to take the AND WHO THE HELL ARE YOU???? position with that person, but replied gently. That person chose to ignore. Good choice. Why have a pissing contest on *KoobFace anyway? Anyway, I just spent 4 days, in a Villa, with 67 other Moms, all of different regional backgrounds, races(well...it was pretty light skinned, overall, to be honest)religious preferences and lifestyles and it was ALL GOOD. Ya think that kind of tolerance could go global?????????? EMBRACE OUR DIFFERENCES!!!!

Wednesday, March 9, 2011

ORLANDO, BABY!!!!

my bed
we table danced

we hung out with belly dancers



we played with napkins


we went swimming and soaking





we laughed. in our PJ's. A LOT!




did I mention the napkins?






our group- minus 3 who were in another car :(







we ran in hot weather-just for fun









we represented New England








I don't even know where to start, for starters. Well, whaddaya know? i already sound stupid! GAH! Ok, seriously though....I was terrified at first. I had only met a tiny handful of the Moms who I'd be drinkingstaying with-and by handful, i mean the kind of handful they're talking about when they say, "you can eat a handful of these cocoa dusted almonds as a healthy, protein enriched, post-run snack." That kind of handful, incase you are not up to speed with that sort of thing, is about 7 almonds in total. And that kind of handful leaves me feeling pretty empty. Several (ok.. a handful) of Moms pushed me to go anyway, even as the number of women attending climbed and climbed as the weeks leading up to the retreat shrunk and shrunk. I knew the trip would be so beneficial to me and I even felt like I might have something to offer in the whole thing-although I, to this day, couldn't specify exactly what that would be. I bit the bullet and booked myself a slot in what would turn out to be, what my kids would call, EPIC. Truth? I hardly left my villa. I hardly mingled. I hardly traveled. I hardly participated, in the great scheme of things. I enjoyed every.single.second of it. I was downright lazy. I observed, took photos of other Moms, floated in our heated pool, enjoyed the warm weather(i hated being indoors for even 5 minutes!), ran a few miles, read magazines i had overpaid for at the airport in Baltimore, made a total mess of my room(sorry M4M!), barely cleaned up, didn't change the toilet paper roll(sorry Rose!)ignored my greasy hair, ate too much, ate too much, ate waaaay too much.... uh...you get the idea. I met some wonderful women. Women who have had their teeth knocked out, their eyes blackened, their chins scarred, their hearts broken, their self esteem flattened, their needs ignored, their marriages tested, their families destroyed, their homes lit on fire-all by their RAD/previously traumatized & neglected, TERRIFIED children.. yet, still just keep on keepin' on and even reach out to help others who walk in their shoes. A term I heard repeatedly over the weekend was ROCK STAR. I couldn't agree more. I met some strong(and some so young!) Moms. All of them who foster, adopt or in one way or another raise children who don't/didn't love them back. I was hugged, recognized(so weird and surreal!) and hugged again by complete strangers who treated me like they'd known me all my life, and I tried -which wasn't hard to do-to treat them the same way. I learned alot about "The system". I also learned that my life IS NOT HARD, which, I must admit, I already knew. So many have it so much tougher. Jack is healing. I am healing. He is, what they refer to in the RAD parenting jargon world, as regulated most of the time. My family is safe and intact. I work from home. I have a fantastic spouse who loves to cook, clean, help and be Dad/mentor/taxi/scapegoat/fixer of all broken stuff. NOPE-I didn't dance on the table at the greek restaurant, I didn't go to Downtown Disney, I didn't touch a single drop of alcohol, I somehow missed the trip to the tattoo parlor.. but it's all good. I LIVED. i absolutely LOVE my housemates. I met "Rocky" 's Mom(she's not a celeb to me, she's just my son's orphanage friend's Mom, and he needed a Mom like her to save his heart, so I love her) I met some other special people, and they know who they are, and i slept a bit. I slept next to an open window too. i know, right?????? It made my year, and I cannot wait to go back and do it all over again-and more. I might even booze it up get dressed next time! Thank you, Corey. It was perfect in every way possible. You did it! YOU ROCK. Rest easy, my friend.

Sunday, February 6, 2011

Thursday, February 3, 2011

things are so fanstastic!


NOT sarcasm!

i know, i know, all 7 of you want me to post more often and have it NOT be "all biceps and calories" i hear ya! i will not talk about diet or exercise for the next.. i dont know.. week?


YES, i am going on the Orlando RAD Retreat with Corey and 60 other Moms. i am rooming with Mothering4Money and 3 other blogger Moms of RAD kids who want to tear out all their hair really need support and my goal is to do very little and not wear much clothing for 4 days. It's hard for me to get away, but I have it all worked out and Yogi and crew are prepared. what's that you ask? "what crew?" oh... you've missed so much. there are 8 "kids" here again, it's going well. kristin(almost 22, senior in college an hour away, home on long weekends this semester, no classes on fridays now), Konor(20) Doug(20) Jenny(my niece, almost 20) Kayleigh(19) Jackson (around 15) Kendyl, (now 6!) and Shawn Alan (now 3.5). Uncle Tim, AKA Uncuh/Gunkuh moved out a few weeks ago, after more than 2 years with us, to live with his niece an hour away. It's still tight, but much better now, since Tim was in a large basement bedroom that we NEED for kids. a place for them to sleep and make noise.

There is no way i can backtrack and really catch you up to speed on the last 3 mos. but the condensed version is that Doug was sent home from Iraq after 3 weeks because he had pot in his urine(humiliating? only to us, i guess) Jenny needs a place to go, so does her Fiance' Konor. Kayleigh's parents lost their house and are in a tiny mobile home that she can't fit in and the rest are ours anyway(including Doug)so we have to keep them. HA! GUESS HOW MANY OF THEM ARE EMPLOYED. I DARE YOU! the winner gets a prize.

Yogi is wonderful, as usual. supportive of my endeavors, loving, kind, respectful and downright amazing in every way. he's doing lots of roof shoveling and ice-dam-removal this month, we have 12 foot snowbanks out there! up to 3 feet on many rooves(roofs?) he has cleaned. it pays well. he's also doing lots of indoor painting, basement re finishing, remodeling, repairs, cabinet installation etc......he's staying busy this winter, for sure. people dig him and hire him over & over. He's so good to all these kids it makes my head spin, too. A+.

Kendyl LOVES Kindergarten and Shawn loves pre-school.

Kristin is in her final semester here at UNH. then she is moving to California to do grad school. her wonderful boyfriend, who she met while studying abroad in Costa Rica a year ago, lives out there and she has visited him there twice, he just came here for 10 days, and they are making it work until august when they can be together full time. i cannot even describe how much I adore him. dimples. plays guitar & piano. sings. did i mention the dimples? he's only a month older than kris. gonna be an engineer or something. i wasn't listening when he told me, because i was distracted by his dimples and guitar playing and singing.

I adopted a beagle 4 weeks ago. hes 6 mos. old now and his name is Levi. he chews things but i love him and so does Dakotah.

Doug & Kayleigh continue to work hard on goal setting, effective communication, positive body language and other social and independent living skills. they are learning that relationships are hard work, and there is a lot more to it than just playing house. Doug continues to smoke reefer off the premises. I give up.

Jenny & Konor continue to work hard at getting their lives in order, proving themselves to their families and each other, setting goals and letting go of old baggage/the past in order to live a better, more positive life once they're married. Jenny and Konor continue to smoke reefer off the premises. I give up.

My sister continues to recover from her accident in August. You can read about that here. She has physical therapy, but also accompanies me to the YMCA about 4 days per week where she swims, cycles, strength trains and hangs out in the hot tub afterwards.. She can walk, and she's losing her limp, but struggles with pain every single day. She's up and down. it's a long process. She has a great attitude though, so that certainly helps.

Jackson? he's growing up in many ways, regressing some other ways. i left him for last because he's the most... wordy update. In basketball he has shown amazing growth. he "gets it" now, as far as memorization, carrying out the plays etc... he doesnt just rely on natural skills anymore. he plays on 2 teams(he made the school team, but we pulled him after the 3rd week. a story for another day!) and made the All Star team for both teams, so we are BUSY!. He's so fun to watch. the boy's got SKEELZ!

school? a huge struggle that I stay out of. want the phone? get all C's and above. if ya don't-forget it. it's all in your hands, kid.I'm movin' on. I don't get overly involved in the school thing. I just can't. sue me. he spends most of the day in the resource room. C's are not out of his reach!

i have caught him gently torturing the puppy 3 times. i have chatted with him 3 times. he found someone weaker than he is to torment. If i catch him again, i will call the police about it. they get it(finally). i will have him arrested for animal cruelty. I don't mess around and he might as well learn that since it's been over 7 years.

that may not be everything, but i must go cook a ham and potatoes. miss you all, feel free to friend me on facebook though! Alison L Maker Crawford


Sunday, January 23, 2011

my sister made me post these!

jan. 18th-down about 82lbs!
jan 15th

jan 4th(looked better the prior month-not doing enough upper body weight training)



dec 4th


Thursday, November 25, 2010


down 77 lbs!
i should update on my RADling, but it would take forever i'm just not interested enough to type it all out. all the other kids are well and safe. Happy Thanksgiving to you all! sorry i'm such a dud of a blogger, I don't sit down very much anymore!

Thursday, November 4, 2010

progress pics

nov. 4th i don't see much of a change in these last 4 weeks :( a bit more bicep maybe?
oct. 4th

aug.4th