the cell phone story gets EVEN BETTER!
i left the phone where he could find it, by mistake. my phone was broken so i had been using his off & on & well.. goofed late at night. he got up in the middle of the night and found it. i didnt realize it was missing until i arrived home from a haircut at 630pm. i told him i had misplaced it, he even moved off the couch so i could "search"under the cushions. i asked him where it was. he answered "you and dad took it, i have no idea." i went into his room and dialed the cell phone number. it rang from inside a drawer behind his bedroom door. he had hidden it in the velcro pocket of a pair of shorts he cant fit into anymore. he hung his head, and without a word, handed me the phone. as much as i wanted to say "HERES YOUR SIGN!" i just exited the room, shutting the door behind me with him behind it.
i swear, these kids think i am STUPID!
I WILL NEVER GIVE UP. HE WILL GRADUATE. HE WILL LIVE INDEPENDENTLY. HE WILL FIND TRUE LOVE. HE WILL SURVIVE. HE WILL SHOWER REGULARLY. OR I WILL DIE TRYING. ~MOM
Wednesday, September 16, 2009
Monday, September 14, 2009
cell phones and RAD teens OY OY OY
well, the cell phone thing just didn't work out. when he left for school thismorning I, Of course, scrolled through his never ending text message exchanges between he & his "city friends", who are kids who attend camp with Jackson, the one for kids with HIV. Lets just say that.. um... HELL NO. with his school friends hes pretty age appropriate. with those 2 kids?(boy and girl, both 12 years old) he is DISGUSTING and rude and crude and innappropriate and downright YUCK. He even took photos of pages of his older brothers dirty magazines and sent them to these kids! awful pictures. and the words and phrases they use, him being the worst one, were outrageous. I guess he's just too immature and sexually.. uh... transfixed? right now, i dont know... to be trusted with a cell phone. i liked having the phone to dangle in front of him to get him to do homework and put in effort, but... oh, well. i do not need the mothers of these 2 kids calling me and asking why my son is so lewd. the things they said to each other just blow my mind, these kids are younger than Jackson! but JACKSON was the only one sending the pictures! he just "turns it on" for "those" friends to keep up. NO THANKS. his relationship with those 2 children will now be limited to a one week camp every summer and that is IT. i had even offered to pick up the boy to take him to the yearly camp Christmas party this year, he never attends because his Mother doesnt have a car, but now i think I will just leave it alone. black or not, (they are)those are not the kind of kids I want him hanging around with, regardless of how much like them he really is. I mean , he was bragging about how much Pu**y hes getting! I am NOT KIDDING! where is all this coming from? He needs sooo much supervision it is unreal. how are we going to get through the teen/early 20's years? kids with HIV bragging about how much tail theyre getting??????? at TWELVE????? LORD HELP US.
when he got home from school & asked where his cell phone was i told him "take a few minutes to yourself think about why it might be put away". he simply fell asleep on the couch and that was that. he doesnt want to confront yet. thats ok. i can wait.
when he got home from school & asked where his cell phone was i told him "take a few minutes to yourself think about why it might be put away". he simply fell asleep on the couch and that was that. he doesnt want to confront yet. thats ok. i can wait.
Friday, September 11, 2009
pics of the bedroom
after picture of door(out of order)
before
before
after
before
after
before
after
husband's real name is Ricky
3 of my Old Man Of The Mountain pictures
i missed my cats!
i missed them a lot!
shawns bed
REGULATED!
my sister in law took all these with her fantastic camera. cannon rebel, like a $1600.00 jobbie. i love them!
things are looking up! Jackson has had 2 great days at school and the SPED teacher even called me to tell me how well he's doing now that he has adjusted and found his way around. he is now being pulled to resource for math and language arts, his work is being modified and all is well. his mood is good, so maybe hes REGULATED LOL
guess what? I've (FINALLY)been painting my bedroom & re organizing it for over a week. I'm almost done. i posted all the pics on facebook, so you can friend me there if you want. my name is ali crawford in there. it came out GORGOUS, it's a beautiful terracotta/pumpkin/burnt orange kinda thing. i will post a few pics of it in here. i have such a good feeling when i walk in there now. it's warm and inviting, feels comfortable. i also picked up a few pieces of furniture at my favorite consignment shop and re-furbished them. I have a bedside table now! it is THE BEST! water glass, lamp & alarm clock, all at my finger tips. i am thrilled. i've been busy! but a good busy!
in a week, i am flying to Michigan with Uncle Tim. he will be emptying out storage from his old house and then we will drive back here with more stuff than we ever wanted lol. i'm up for a fun road trip. hell, i'm up for anything! i'm excited, but BROKE. August was terrible for income, for us. i really shouldn't go, but my cousin, the one who has 8 kids, lives on a farm only 1 hour from Tim's house, so i will be spending time with them & seeing their house for 2-3 days while Tim packs up his stuff, then he will pick me up & we will drive home in the U Haul, taking turns driving. 18 hours i think. I cant cancel! I'm hoping to blog during my trip. I hope it's a fun road trip. I've never taken one before. well, not one like this. I'm gonna miss my peeps! i wish i had more cash for this thing....
Thursday, September 10, 2009
drivel & disorder
I know, I know, It's been a month. My plan was take August off and get to blogging as soon as school started. Well, in much of the country, school starts today, so I'm still good. You'll forgive me, right? here are my thoughts:
I was a strict parent. An I don't take any crap! kind of Mom. Not a mean tyrant, but NO! meant NO, everybody knew what was expected of them and there were no shenanigans, hootenanny or wreck less hoopla. It worked out well for many years. Kristin was an angel & although Doug was hyper and pulled some yanks at school, he was great at home and we lived in a happy, calm environment much of the time. Then, one day, all that changed. Suddenly, I was doing everything wrong. I had to change. Everything I had ever learned, that had been working well, needed to go. I felt like a 19 year old, green, terrified, first-time parent. This was uncharted territory! Well, another 6 years has passed and I am still learning. Every book on the subject of raising a kid like this has a different theory, a different way of doing it right. These books talk about healing and structure and attachment and empathy and self control. they push therapy, although unconventional therapy, and we jumped on the band wagon, only to be told, "He's great! You got one of the good ones!"
"But... but... but..HE IS CLIMBING OUT OF MY CAR ON THE FREEWAY! Ok, whatever.....fast forward.
Now this kid is (most likely) a teenager, and everything is changing again. Again, we are reading & searching for answers, looking for new ways to channel his awkward, endless(yet selective) energy, get him critically thinking, pull out some effort in school and work, tone down his hormones(oh.my.god.) and instill some kindness and concern for others(HE HAS ABSOLUTELY NONE). The ball game has completely changed again, Yogi & I are down 3-zip and we are reeling from it. The summer actually went extremely well, overall. Other than his severe kleptomania and bed wetting(well.. the crap that goes along with it more than the actual wetting), no major infractions. BUT-then school started & he had a "Birthday" all in a 2 day span and all hell broke loose. No physical fights, he's not into that anymore, but a bit of yelling(by yours truly) and some complete shut down, regression, refusal and HOW BAD CAN I PISS THEM OFF BEFORE THEY SLIT MY THROAT? CUZ THAT WOULD BE SICK! action. siiiggghhhh. Let's just say, he was quite disappointed when we stood our ground, acted appropriately and called on teachers, friends and each others to help us get him back on track, or, "regulated"@@ (that, by the way, is the dumbest word in all those crappy books. THERE. I SAID IT.) I'll show ya regulated lol.
To put it all down on paper would take years but I will give you the Reader's Digest Condensed Version:
1. 7th grade. Middle School. Huge place. i worked as a para professional, but i never taught there, its a new building, so i know everyone, but do NOT know my way around. Yesterday was day 7. He still can't find his way to any of his classes, even though he attended summer school there. He's nervous, anxious as hell and embarrassed. Most realize that he's truly lost, but a few have beat him up a bit, verbally, accusing him of being a PITA.
2. In most subjects, he's a 3rd-4th grader in a 7th grade environment. IEP's take time to be read, analyzed and implemented. Rome wasn't built in a day. There are waaaaaaay needier kids than he. (him?) So...no resource room or ESL class yet(mostly for language arts/writing and math). He is sitting in a math class, mixed ability grouping, learning to convert math problems and answers INTO CHINESE MATH. NO LIE. OY. The homework is insane. I modify it, cross off second pages, write things like "You're kidding, right?" at the bottom of pages and send them back. LOL. Thank GOD I have a clue. Last night, after a HORRIBLE Tuesday night, I took up a better approach. Front & back of a spelling worksheet took an hour and a half, after having him erase all the "answers"(he just put a word on each line and wanted to hand it in, just to get through it FAST) I explained each section, defined all the words, and then he could do 65%-70& of it. After LOTS of erasing and promises of cell phone usage he had a much better attitude the 2nd time around. You have to be soooooo chill with him, so calm, or he just shuts down. It's tough not to rip out your hair and cuss, but I try. Then his Concerta wore off and we were pingin'. But we came out the other side. Did you know that Iditerod dogs are also called Maneuver Dogs? who knew? Anyway.....it was WAY above his head, honestly. He did a 4th grade spelling program last year, I'm hoping they get it all worked out very soon. Libby gave me some 5th-6th grade workbooks, maybe I can implement some of that and trade it out while we wait? LOL. My friend Cheryl called and told me to push the school. She says there is no reason why they can't simplify some work during this transition and send it home.. They say they are "pushing independence". Um....HE CAN'T FIND THE SHITTER! Much of his teaching team are old friends/colleagues so it's tough...I went to the Open House Tuesday night, as tired as I was after all that bitching & moaning, and chatted with the Special Ed. teacher and 2 subject teachers, they are doing their best, I think. I will give them more time and one good thing came out of it- They are now helping him get around. He is being shadowed by Sally Smart Ass, without his knowledge. Follow the snob in the plaid skirt!
3. Birthday. Wanna do something fun? no. wanna have cake? Invite some friends over? no. "just get me a cell phone." I took the easy way out and did it. BUT he can only use it if he brings home ALL materials, puts in EFFORT, acts APPROPRIATELY and behaves in school. That worked yesterday. we shall see.....
I WILL NEVER GIVE UP. HE WILL GRADUATE. HE WILL LIVE INDEPENDENTLY. HE WILL FIND TRUE LOVE. HE WILL SURVIVE. HE WILL SHOWER REGULARLY. OR I WILL DIE TRYING.
I better go, my foster dog ran out of bladder control pills and well, yah. BYE!
I was a strict parent. An I don't take any crap! kind of Mom. Not a mean tyrant, but NO! meant NO, everybody knew what was expected of them and there were no shenanigans, hootenanny or wreck less hoopla. It worked out well for many years. Kristin was an angel & although Doug was hyper and pulled some yanks at school, he was great at home and we lived in a happy, calm environment much of the time. Then, one day, all that changed. Suddenly, I was doing everything wrong. I had to change. Everything I had ever learned, that had been working well, needed to go. I felt like a 19 year old, green, terrified, first-time parent. This was uncharted territory! Well, another 6 years has passed and I am still learning. Every book on the subject of raising a kid like this has a different theory, a different way of doing it right. These books talk about healing and structure and attachment and empathy and self control. they push therapy, although unconventional therapy, and we jumped on the band wagon, only to be told, "He's great! You got one of the good ones!"
"But... but... but..HE IS CLIMBING OUT OF MY CAR ON THE FREEWAY! Ok, whatever.....fast forward.
Now this kid is (most likely) a teenager, and everything is changing again. Again, we are reading & searching for answers, looking for new ways to channel his awkward, endless(yet selective) energy, get him critically thinking, pull out some effort in school and work, tone down his hormones(oh.my.god.) and instill some kindness and concern for others(HE HAS ABSOLUTELY NONE). The ball game has completely changed again, Yogi & I are down 3-zip and we are reeling from it. The summer actually went extremely well, overall. Other than his severe kleptomania and bed wetting(well.. the crap that goes along with it more than the actual wetting), no major infractions. BUT-then school started & he had a "Birthday" all in a 2 day span and all hell broke loose. No physical fights, he's not into that anymore, but a bit of yelling(by yours truly) and some complete shut down, regression, refusal and HOW BAD CAN I PISS THEM OFF BEFORE THEY SLIT MY THROAT? CUZ THAT WOULD BE SICK! action. siiiggghhhh. Let's just say, he was quite disappointed when we stood our ground, acted appropriately and called on teachers, friends and each others to help us get him back on track, or, "regulated"@@ (that, by the way, is the dumbest word in all those crappy books. THERE. I SAID IT.) I'll show ya regulated lol.
To put it all down on paper would take years but I will give you the Reader's Digest Condensed Version:
1. 7th grade. Middle School. Huge place. i worked as a para professional, but i never taught there, its a new building, so i know everyone, but do NOT know my way around. Yesterday was day 7. He still can't find his way to any of his classes, even though he attended summer school there. He's nervous, anxious as hell and embarrassed. Most realize that he's truly lost, but a few have beat him up a bit, verbally, accusing him of being a PITA.
2. In most subjects, he's a 3rd-4th grader in a 7th grade environment. IEP's take time to be read, analyzed and implemented. Rome wasn't built in a day. There are waaaaaaay needier kids than he. (him?) So...no resource room or ESL class yet(mostly for language arts/writing and math). He is sitting in a math class, mixed ability grouping, learning to convert math problems and answers INTO CHINESE MATH. NO LIE. OY. The homework is insane. I modify it, cross off second pages, write things like "You're kidding, right?" at the bottom of pages and send them back. LOL. Thank GOD I have a clue. Last night, after a HORRIBLE Tuesday night, I took up a better approach. Front & back of a spelling worksheet took an hour and a half, after having him erase all the "answers"(he just put a word on each line and wanted to hand it in, just to get through it FAST) I explained each section, defined all the words, and then he could do 65%-70& of it. After LOTS of erasing and promises of cell phone usage he had a much better attitude the 2nd time around. You have to be soooooo chill with him, so calm, or he just shuts down. It's tough not to rip out your hair and cuss, but I try. Then his Concerta wore off and we were pingin'. But we came out the other side. Did you know that Iditerod dogs are also called Maneuver Dogs? who knew? Anyway.....it was WAY above his head, honestly. He did a 4th grade spelling program last year, I'm hoping they get it all worked out very soon. Libby gave me some 5th-6th grade workbooks, maybe I can implement some of that and trade it out while we wait? LOL. My friend Cheryl called and told me to push the school. She says there is no reason why they can't simplify some work during this transition and send it home.. They say they are "pushing independence". Um....HE CAN'T FIND THE SHITTER! Much of his teaching team are old friends/colleagues so it's tough...I went to the Open House Tuesday night, as tired as I was after all that bitching & moaning, and chatted with the Special Ed. teacher and 2 subject teachers, they are doing their best, I think. I will give them more time and one good thing came out of it- They are now helping him get around. He is being shadowed by Sally Smart Ass, without his knowledge. Follow the snob in the plaid skirt!
3. Birthday. Wanna do something fun? no. wanna have cake? Invite some friends over? no. "just get me a cell phone." I took the easy way out and did it. BUT he can only use it if he brings home ALL materials, puts in EFFORT, acts APPROPRIATELY and behaves in school. That worked yesterday. we shall see.....
I WILL NEVER GIVE UP. HE WILL GRADUATE. HE WILL LIVE INDEPENDENTLY. HE WILL FIND TRUE LOVE. HE WILL SURVIVE. HE WILL SHOWER REGULARLY. OR I WILL DIE TRYING.
I better go, my foster dog ran out of bladder control pills and well, yah. BYE!
Saturday, September 5, 2009
K&K
this is our latest addition, Kristin's boyfriend, another K person. He is K the 3rd, so his son will be K the 4th. i want them to marry and have kids just so i can say "this is my beautiful grandson, K4" it sounds very cool. i AM that shallow. Isn't he gorgeous? treats her so well. And, yes, they are the same size & weight! how convenient! together, they are 200lbs of trouble :)
Friday, August 28, 2009
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