thoughts from the trenches

me-after 50 lbs GONE! YIKES, loving my baggy arm skin, can you believe that was all fat before? cant i just go and have it all cut off? better start weight training FAST! eeww.

I read blogs every 3 or 4 days, Mostly the blogs you can see on the list to your right. these moms blog about their feelings and come up with all this deep, wordy, philosophical, inanely cool stuff. i tend to just write about daily life, current events and things that irritate me. HA! how I've managed to keep so many readers for 3 years, I have no idea. I don't think anyone reads my blog to actually hear or analyze my thoughts, take my crappy(non existent!)advice or learn anything new. I cuss, I often take a negative view, I spew my passive aggressive ways of dealing with Jacksonmy life's little ups & downs, yet you still read. I read some blogs that i used to love to read, but as readership grew, the ads went up, the pops up, well... pop up, their income grows along with the readership hits and BAM. 2 moms, in particular, have become soooooo stuck up, self righteous and braggy.... YUCK. they give LOTS of advice when they haven't even been parents for more than 5 years. religion, politics, foreign affairs, nutrition, potty training, homeschooling, special education, cooking, sewing, organizing, immunizing(or not!)discipline, safety, marital issues, adoption, foster care, family planning, finances......you name it, they have advice for us. they KNOW how it should be done. is that what you guys are really out there in cyber space looking for? please, let me know! i'm so curious! I just don't think I am in any position to be telling other people how to do this life thing. Even after 21+ years of parenting full time, one of our 5 offspring smokes -which i NEVER EVER would have expected, we have never smoked-and dropped out of high school, another has a slew of mental and emotional issues that lead to smoking and dropping out of high school, my first husband didn't love me, left me & 2 babies, so i was divorced at 22 and re married at 25 to my former best friend-well, he still is!, none of my kids are in therapy because I hate it with a passion, (lets just say i'm not a fan of constructive criticism and leave it at that. its NEVER just about the kids, they drag you in too@@, and I am no longer interested), I'm not a nutrition expert, by any means..i just learned the difference between simple and complex carbs 6 weeks ago! i just mean that I wouldn't want MY advice! why should you? maybe you read me because I keep it so real. let it all out. dont hold anything back. I don't sugar coat anything, very often. nothing is taboo, 'cept maybe my sex life ...HA! maybe its the cute pictures of my dog that keep you coming back for more abusefun.
so...I promise that I will continue to hold back any and all urges to sway your thinking or get you to come around to my way of doing things, whatever way that is. i'll stick to my easy-on-the-brain way of blogging, for now.
you're welcome!

just an update

look at that mug. so cute! he has the best lips EVER.

yup, anything goes.

my legs are so much leaner! no idea what shirt i was wearing, doesnt look familiar at all, weird.

like i said, anything goes. i told these kids not to piss me off! LOL

*I'VE NOW LOST 50 LBS! week 22 begins today.
*Jackson had Doug's I Pod the whole time. stole it out of his car. Korey & david took it back from him, along with a pack of cigarrettes, but "didnt want to stress me out", so I wasnt told. doug slipped and told me a week later. yah, he steals cigs and smokes in the woods at the bike jumps. i took the new bike away weeks ago, after he stole our cell phones and called hoochies until 3am, so he hasnt left the yard in weeks anyway. cant handle any freedom. any not strong enough. not for a long time.
* he hates the tournament basketball team he's on. too much "work". too structured. he has to put in effort. the coach actually, the nerve of him, has STANDARDS and demands conditioning. the guy makes them RUN. its not all just scrimmaging and shooting and goofing off playing street ball. too bad. you made the committment and we paid $200.00 so you will stick it out until it ends in July. anything that requires any thought or effort(aside from stealing and lying, that is)-forget about it. we were at basketball games an hour away all frikking weekend -9 games in 3 days-but he hates it. better than sitting home grounded! whatever. he also flushed a bottle of bed wetters drug down the toilet. he "likes wetting the bed".
according to all his fake paperwork, today is his 14th Birthday. does that mean that 4 years from today i can kick his ass out of my house and say "i like kicking you out of my house, so i did."?
he doesnt speak to us unless hes getting his way, yogi even let him sleep over a team mate's house sat. night after playing 4 basketball games(DUH!!!). he never slept the entire night (was afraid he'd wet the bed, i assume, and his anxiety took over, as usual)and slept on the couch all day yesterday, so was up all night again last night...... UGH. no school this week. he will NOT SLEEP TODAY. i dont care what i have to do to keep him awake. no sleeping! go rake leaves! its been a crappy 3 weeks with him.
*shawn is doing so great with the potty! he poops his pants every day, will NOT use the toilet, but hes pee trained-even overnight! he did this all by himself! its been one week.
*the smaller i get, the bigger my boobs look. its OUT OF CONTROL. im like a C+/D- but... i look like a DD right now. whats up with that????? usually they shrink when i trim down. like rachel welch says "shirts just arent made for a full crowd in the balcony!" SO TRUE! shopping may be an issue. especially financially! HA!
have you tried special K's low fat granola cereal? higher in calories but THE BEST FOOD EVER CREATED. I'm hooked. i may dream about it tonight.
shawn pooped his pants again. gotta continue with some pics later!

marathon

i'm so enjoying watching the Boston Marathon.
WHO THE HELL AM I?????????
hoping to hit the 50 lb. loss mark by next weekend. CANT WAIT to see it.

just pics

this is what i eat. MMMMMMMMMMMMM

clothes for school pictures. shawn refused. oh, well.

double pneumonia. diagnosed on Monday morning. poor guy!

Rad, Rad, Scantily Clad

yup. he's just not regulated right now. I just want him to STOP STEALING OUR SHIT. is that so much to ask? ok.. ok.. STOP pissing in my trash cans, STOP staying up all night stalking everyone and STOP STEALING OUR SHIT.
Jenny's I Pod is still missing. Jackson had an I Pod until his friend at school filled it with porn movies for him. that I Pod has been mine since about december. I searched Jack's bedroom for Jenny's I Pod yesterday and found some of the Easter candy(the ones in the little metal easter cans? look at Easter 09's post to see what i make, i dont think i posted any pics this year) anyway, i thought the dog stole the candy, and he did steal some, but jack had the rest and he CRUSHED the cans so i couldnt re-use them. He didn't want the candy, really, just wanted to hurt ME. When he arrived home from school yesterday i searched his back pack. David's Nike shoes, David's studded belts, David's Red Sox hats......Jack saw no issue with this discovery. "it's not stealing"@@ . Jackson doesn't have a backpack anymore. I also put away some of his shoes and favorite t shirts. vindictive? maybe. immature? K. counter productive? sure.
BRING IT.

4 days already?

since i updated? geeze, i'm headed every which way.

* Doug is still having a great time at pre *Band Camp Army training. he's seeing a counselor there and found that he is a CATASTOPHIZER. he's learning alot and calling me often, sharing his new tools for helping himself. he's SO up & down... hmmmmmm. but, he's up for now, which is good.
* Shawn came down with a nasty, gross sounding, gaggy cough 4 days ago. he slept too much, had sporadic diarreah and sporadic fever. NO appetite either. last night i knew I'd be taking him in today. double pneumonia! poor baby! he's already feeling perkier, after one dose of medicine. strong stuff! Doc Lammers listened to him 3 times before deciding that we could go home instead of the hospital. I'm taking him back for follow up on Friday. Ive never seen him so lethargic.
*I still made it to my mammogram on time, even with the last minute appointment with shawn, picking up his meds, calling the insurance company to ask them why I've had to pay full price for my last 2 prescriptions, totalling over $100. it was quick, easy and painless. Hopefully, Eddy, my breast lump, has dissappeared! i find out more next week.
* i still pretty much weigh what i weighed 3 solid weeks ago. changing up my diet a bit and adding some weigh lifting. BORING AS HELL. i hate every second of it. at my physical last week, my doctor & I set a goal of "somewhere in the 150's" so, im more than half way there!. did i mention that my cholesterol went from 211 to 193? GO ME!
* picture day at kendyls school on wednesday, shawn is going too. i think he will cooperate, he loves school. he starts there on july 6th, so only 3 more months. he cannot wait.
* i want to go watch the Boston marathon. trying to work it out.
* everything is going very well here. business is booming, 9 out of the 10 kids are behaving and helping out, no drama.... ahhhhhhhh.
* Jackson snagged his Dad's cell phone a few nights ago and was awake all night talking to chicks from his crib. parents called us next morning. Yogi's sister was surprised by an odd text sent in error.... drama, drama drama. lets just say our entire yard is free of dog poop now and leave it like that. i promise i wont put him on a plane and send him back to Haiti. screw the note! ROFL.
* hey Corey, im trying to work it out for the RAD DRAMA MAMA florida trip next spring. i promise i wont cuss(much).
shawns crying.. gotta fly. love you all!

* WAR

FAIL

so... the night Korey & David went to get Doug's car, Korey's girlfriend wanted to go too. she was over at her Mother's house, so the 2 boys picked her up on their way out of town. David took Shawn's brand new car seat out of the back seat and threw it in the back of the SUV so Jessica could sit back there. Then, he tried to re-install it without help, had no clue how to do it, and blew it. nobody said a word to me. 2 days later I'm rounding a corner and shawn falls over. no lie. I AM SO MAD. The seat wasn't attached to the anchors at all. it was just sitting there. David feels bad, but doesn't understand the gravity of it. in an accident, Shawn would likely have been ejected. Not only that, I would have been convinced that the new Britax Frontier 85 seat failed, I never would have known it was operator error. Im still mad. Funny how I never heard that Jessica went with them. MEN.